Lovelorn Jan Rudnicki, 40, hatched the scheme to bowl over divorcee Gosia Domoslawska after a night's drinking down his local bar in Jarnoltowka, Poland.
But terrified Gosia, 36, dialed 999 when her drunken suitor – stripped to the waist – galloped up her garden path and smashed his way through the front door like a battering ram.
"He's a loon. I was at home watching TV with my daughter when I heard this deafening crash and suddenly this half-naked man on a horse appeared in my front room," she said.
"I never fancied him before and I certainly don't now. If this was supposed to win my heart he must be seriously off his rocker," added Gosia.
Pal Mirek Nowak explained: "At first we thought Jan was joking. But then he went outside, climbed onto this horse – which he'd ridden to the pub – and set off bare-breasted and bare-backed.
"The next thing we knew, he'd been arrested."
Now the divorced dad-of-seven Jan has apologised and offered to replace the door.
But a police spokesman said: "Smashing into someone's home uninvited is a crime and he will be punished for it."
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