Dear Aunty Lisa
I am married for two years now and my husband and I have known each other since our childhood. We started dating early in our teenage days and our love has been a bed of roses until last month. My husband just got a good job and he was offered a car. It was supposed to be a great thing for the family but I’m now regretting that good move. He is now cheating on me with several girlfriends. He comes home late and he shifts the blame on me whenever I try to find out from him what is going on. He is 24 and I am just 21. We are so young and the last thing I want is AIDS in our lives. How can I make him stop sleeping around and behaving wildly like this? – Caro
Dear Caro
I am sorry for what you are going through. Life is never a bed of roses. We come across many challenges – they are meant to test our characters and leave us stronger than ever.
It is unfortunate that sometimes we cannot change what people do or how they behave. Your husband is old enough to make his decisions and unfortunately at this point he is making the wrong ones. We can only hope he will learn the hard way, without bringing the deadly virus into your marriage.
He may be behaving this way because he married early without having spent much of his single life alone. Do not get me wrong, you did not spoil his life. But maybe he did not give himself time to enjoy his youth and become mature enough to ready himself for marriage. Being mobile with the new car is driving him to do all this. Having so many friends who worship him will make him want to prove himself a man by spending money – as they enjoy the benefits of just licking his boots.
At this point you can only pray that he realizes his terrible mistake of abandoning his family and try to talk to him calmly and lovingly. Also try to talk to one of his family members that he respects and listens to. Ask him/her to knock some sense into his brain. Good Luck. – Aunty Lisa
Sounds like a pervert
Dear Aunty Lisa
My husband sounds like a pervert sometimes. I don’t like the way he always sees and describes women’s body parts. For example, he asks me in a middle of a conversation “oh you mean that woman with big boobs?” Sometimes he starts a conversation like “do you remember that woman with a very big butt?” When we are driving somewhere he may just comment a woman in the street, “eishh that woman has huge hips”. It pisses me off and I wonder if he would love me more if l had such body structure. He sounds as if he gets attracted by such women and I feel very low and unworthy. Should I try those pills that enlarge breasts and butt for him? – Slim shady
Dear Slim shady
Oh no dear, never change who you are just to please a man. Be proud of who you are and know that you are special and beautiful in your own way. From what you are saying your husband never said he is attracted to these women. As I see it, he is only making mere comments, though they may be a bit boring to the woman who is expecting some attention and some nice comments about her own figure.
Your husband may not even realize he is upsetting you off by such comments or he may even be doing it to tease you. If you do not like it you can as well say so, this is your husband and you should be able to tell him. Explain how awkward that is for you and how you just don’t like it.
Using those body enlargement pills will only leave you regretting when you find out that his comments are of displeasure. What if he dislikes women with such body structures and you change yourself to that? If he met you and married you like that, why then should you think he is attracted to big women. Love the way you are. – Aunty Lisa
Bed-wetting problems
Dear Aunty Lisa
My nine-year-old daughter is still wetting her bed in her sleep. I get so frustrated and I have tried to punish her, but it’s not working. I get so angry with her sometimes that at that age she still cannot wake up to use the toilet when my friend’s four-year-old son can wake up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. What l can do? – Worried mum
Dear worried mum
One of the biggest mistakes of raising kids is to compare yours with others. Your daughter is a unique individual who must be treated as such. Getting mad at her will not solve anything and punishing her will confuse her. You are punishing her for something she is not doing willingly. It is beyond her control and I’m sure deep down her heart she wants to stop and make her mum proud. Every time she can’t you get mad and she will end up feeling she is just not normal.
You need to show her that you are willing to help her stop wetting her bed. Try and limit her fluid intake at night, as this may be a challenge to her bladder when she sleeps. She may have a physical problem – so you should consult a medical professional. Kids do different things at different ages, do not feel your daughter is abnormal. She will learn things at her own pace. You can also help her by setting an alarm for her to wake up and empty her bladder once or twice at night. She needs to use the toilet before sleeping again.
Bed-wetting can also signal an emotional problem – so you need to talk to her, discuss any problems she may have at school or at home with other relatives. Be sensitive and supportive. She needs you to help her through this. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle