Dear Aunty Lisa
My friend is cheating on her husband, while he is in total darkness. He keeps trying to spoil her thinking he is doing something wrong.
His wife is giving him an attitude and she brags about her cheating to me. She is cheating with a man we work with. I am caught in between whether to tell her husband or not. I feel bad watching her husband, who is also a friend of mine, loving her without being appreciated. What do I do? – Tracey
Dear Tracey
It is a difficult one my dear sister. It is just a bad idea to intervene in other people’s relationships though you will be doing it in all goodness. I understand you feel bad for your male friend for being “unappreciated” and being cheated on but you don’t want to look as if you have some interest in this other than seeing your friends’ marriage work out for the best. The most you can do is talk to your girl and try and knock some sense into her head.
Telling her husband should be the last thing you do if, after warning her about it, she does not stop. In this day and age of deadly sexually transmitted diseases, being unfaithful is life threatening. – Aunty Lisa
Coughing baby
Dear Aunty Lisa
My six-month-old daughter has been coughing for two weeks now, I have tried sophylex syrup but it doesn’t seem to be working. She has not been improving. What could it be? – Mum4Tee
Dear Mum4Tee
Unfortunately I cannot give you an expert advice on what the causes of the cough is, but you need to take her to the doctor if she has been coughing for a long time. Do not give her medication before you can get the doctor to examine her. She may have an infection, and you need the doctor to prescribe the proper medication. – Aunty Lisa
Worn out mum
Dear Aunty Lisa
I am a working mother. My baby is six months now and I am failing to strike a balance between my work and life. I feel bad having to leave him at home to go for work. I come back so tired and find him waiting to get my attention, dinner needs to be prepared and other duties await.
My husband and I both agree that we need the money I am earning and so I cannot quit my job. The household duties are giving me a tough time since the maid is part-time and only takes care of the kid during the day. I am always tired at home and at work. I don’t know what to do? – Mai Tadiwanashe
Dear Mai Tadiwanashe
Stop trying to be a superwoman because that is not realistic. You cannot be a jack of all trades. You can try to get yourself organised and employ a full-time maid who can do all the household work for you.
You need to start your day at work fresh and energetic. A lot of times we tend to want to save money by doing things like not employing a full-time maid, but it costs more in the long run in terms of our health. It is what my husband loves calling “being penny wise and pound foolish.” Get someone to clean your house for you so that you have time to rest and have quality time with your son when you get home. You need to make time for your baby no matter how busy you are. It is not easy for working mothers to strike a balance between work and life. Some successful mothers around the world have argued that it is not achievable.
They say “women can’t get it all.” But I think what is important is to have a supportive husband who understands and appreciates the importance of you working, and organising your life properly. – Aunty Lisa
Nagging boss
Dear Aunty Lisa
I have such a nagging boss who wants to treat me like I am some sort of machine. He expects me to work overtime without extra pay. When I complain about it he accuses me of not appreciating what he is giving me.
I would understand if I was a young man coming from college but I have four years’ experience now and I feel I deserve to be treated with respect. Sometimes I feel like quitting my job but I need it. What do I do? – Peter
Dear Peter
It is not a good thing for employers to overwork their workers without paying them. There is need to treat each other as human beings, appreciate each other and know that they are a team; they both need each other.
As much as you respect your boss he needs to respect you as well knowing that being his employee does not mean he has the right to abuse you. At the same time, remember that respect has to be earned.
It is good to go the extra mile and so demonstrate your commitment to your job and the company. But there is a fine line between this and exploitation. Clear, constructive and careful communication is always the best way forward.
You need to set the record straight with your boss, what does your contact say? What time are you expected at work and off? It is important that you both are clear on what your boundaries and limits are so that you don’t cross each other’s lines.
Make it clear that you are committed to the business and to doing your best and in extreme circumstances, such as when a special contract is due or some deadline is looming, you will be prepared to work extra hard in order to complete that specific task – but you cannot be expected to do overtime whenever your boss feels like you should.
You don’t want to lose respect for each other. It is easy to work where you know what is expected of you. The last thing you need is to be a frustrated and disgruntled employee. Good Luck. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle