Police in Gwanda have seized 10 motorcycles belonging to the MDC. You’ve got to hand it to the old grandmaster. He plays the game well. In a country where most voters live in rural areas, a motorbike is about as valuable as a horse in the wild West. No bike, no feet, no campaign.
What’s in a name?
Leader of the smaller MDC faction, Welshman Ncube, has stated that, in terms of law, the earliest possible date the country can hold polls is mid August. Before elections can be held, the new constitution has to be gazetted and the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission requires a 30-day voter outreach program. Pardon me if I digress but I wonder what inspired them – whoever they are – to name him
“Welshman.”
Zimbabwe Prison Services commissioner general, Paradzai Zimonde, has urged, not subtly threatened or emotionally blackmailed prison officers to rally behind President Mugabe. ‘We are quite privileged to have a visionary leader in his Excellency… who has made it possible to be where you are today. I have no doubt you will never want to let down such a leader.’ Say, how far are we on those security sector reforms?And good luck to people like Madzore, the ‘limping donkey’ sayer who remains in the care of our prison system after the state appealed the granting of his bail.
The European Union, through its EU Development Bank, will resume the provision of funding to the private sector, commencing with a $500,000 grant for arts development. That ought to please a struggling artist or two.
You diplomat, you!
Zanu (PF) representatives, Nicholas Goche Snr and Patrick Chinamasa, snubbed a meeting called by representatives of South African president Jacob Zuma to discuss election preparations. The meeting comes on the back of Tsvangirai’s tour of SADC in which he sought support for pre-election reforms. Zuma’s represantative, Charles Nqakula, said he was ‘sure Zanu (PF) must have had a plausible reason to stay away.’ Oh Chuck, you diplomat you!
Dorothy Mabika, suspended from her post of acting Zanu (PF) Manicaland provincial chairperson for her alleged role in the theft of beasts belonging to the party, said she is being victimised because she snubbed the romantic advances of Didymus Mutasa. In what is turning out to be an unseemly legal saga, Mabika (of zebra totem) alleges that Mutasa (of buffalo totem) told her:
‘A zebra and buffalo graze together. If the zebra refuses to graze with the buffalo, the zebra will be gored.’ Mabika took this to mean ‘let’s get friendly or else. Didymus Mutasa did not deny these words, which he said were uttered in jest. Headshake. Sigh.
President Mugabe attempted to appeal to emotions of the Matebeleland voters at the memorial for the late John Landa Nkomo. Robert Mugabe is an orator. But the ballot will show whether the people of that region were moved and whether, indeed, they have squashed the Gukurahundi beef.
We end with the news that Bob thinks he’s prettier than Morgan. With age, we regress to our childhood. I remember how in junior school the big debate of the day was ‘who drives faster, your dad or mine?’ – Till next week. My pen is capped. – jera@workmail.com
Post published in: Opinions & Analysis