In these days of the HIV/Aids pandemic we strongly discourage spouse inheritance (kugara kana kugarwa nhaka).
It is not always easy to determine the cause of death of the brother or sister who will have passed on. You can easily inherit much more than a spouse if the departed loved one died of the dreaded disease. African traditional practice will, however, expect that the brother of the departed husband should inherit his wife and look after her and the children. They also expect the younger sister of the departed wife to be given to the widower as replacement of her deceased sister. If the deceased died of HIV/Aids there is a strong likelihood that both the remaining spouses will also died sooner or later from that disease. It would be considered very rude to insist that the inherited or inheriting spouse first be tested to establish their HIV status before the inheritance is consummated. The best approach is therefore to politely turn down the offer without engaging the in-laws in some ugly debate.
Spouse inheritance is, however, completely wrong for a Christian married man who still has a wife who is alive. The Bible very clearly discourages polygamy, and any man who is serious about their Christianity will not inherit his late brothers widow when his own wife is still alive. What about the womens side? A good Christian woman whose husband has died will not agree to be inherited by her late husbands brother who is already married to someone else. Further, a good Christian will simply not engage in spouse inheritance except in the case where the two people concerned love each other. In other words, a Christian man whose wife has died can only inherit his wifes sister as his new wife if he truly loves her and she truly loves him. The only correct basis of a marriage is love and not simply relationship as in the spouse inheritance situations.
A further consideration must be the children from both sides of the inheritance set up. It would not be wise to disregard the welfare and even the feelings of the children, especially when they are old enough to be asked their opinion. Many times, when this consideration has not been taken into account, there has been bitter animosity among the children, and this can tear the families apart. It is critical to avoid being selfish when considering whether to inherit a spouse or not. In many cases, it may even be better to simply re-marry from outside the late spouses family than to inherit a spouse. We know that the discussion is getting more and more complex, and we will not be surprised if some of our readers strongly disagree with us on this one. Seek the mind of the Lord, when in doubt.
Being self-less will also entail considering the welfare of the inherited spouse, especially in relation to their career, interests and age. We think it is rather selfish for an old man of over 65 years of age to inherit an eighteen year old teenager as his wife. The poor girl is likely to be stuck with this old man for the next, say seven to ten years, and then he will die just at the time when no one else will be interested in marrying her. She probably will have two or three children with him and they will still be in primary school. Who will fend for them after the sekuru has gone? A good Christian will consider all these factors before they engage in spouse inheritance. May the good Lord bless your marriage.
Post published in: Opinions