God in His infinite wisdom created us male and female, and saw that it was good. To date, no one has ever been able to improve on that model. Continuing our discussion of sensible sexuality, we need this week to focus on how to handle gender related issues in the family. Here again, parents are the critical guides and role models for their children.
Parents, how do you feel about members of the opposite sex in general? We need to watch what messages we are sending to our children regarding gender issues. I wonder what your child will think about men when he or she hears you saying, Men are dogs, or Women are always a problem. If you are not content with the partner you married, it will be difficult to help your children to accept themselves for who they are as well as to appreciate the opposite sex. Make the decision today to begin to communicate positively about the other sex for the sake of your children.
Remember that no two boys or girls are exactly the same; there is rich variety even within the sexes. Appreciate each child as a unique individual and celebrate the mix of creative, sporting, academic, social, caring, artistic and practical skills with which your family has been blessed. It is important that your son never feels that you were hoping for a girl, or that your daughter does not think that you really wanted a boy. Children who feel that they do not meet their parents expectations may begin to wish that they had been born someone else. It is the responsibility of a loving parent to build positive attitudes by constant praise, encouragement and unconditional love.
It is also important to treat both sexes equally within the family setting. In our family, both boys and girls have their turn at cooking, doing the dishes, sweeping, both inside and outside the house, washing and ironing their own clothes.
The maid only washes the parents clothes and not those of the children. Our experience is that the children are quite happy doing these chores. They know that they are being trained for self-sufficiency in later life. This gives them a lot of freedom. In infancy, boys and girls mix quite happily, but as soon as boys start shooting imaginary guns and girls start putting dolls to bed, conflicts can arise. Encourage your children to join in each others activities.
Girls mature quicker than boys and are often ready to have proper conversations when boys are still too shy to do anything other than annoy girls. Teach your boys to respect girls; to treat them well and make them feel important. Encourage your girls to join in the break-time ball games, to relate to boys on their level and to try to understand their embarrassment.
With a little bit of effort your children may find that the opposite sex is not so bad after all. Parents have a role to play in encouraging the children to play together. Having fun together is a great way to learn to co-operate and accept gender differences in the family.
Girls who want to play kiss-catch are beginning to notice boys and the seeds of physical attraction are germinating. Children in junior school may even begin to talk of having a boy-friend or girl-friend. Good parents should try to avoid extreme reactions such as forbidding the children from having such relations, or ridiculing such friendships in front of other children. Cautious advice may be more effective than the harsh Thou shalt not…
Post published in: Opinions