I want more kids

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am a married woman aged 25. My husband and I have agreed to have just one kid. But it was not really an agreement because I just had to give in after he seemed disappointed that I wanted more kids. I grew up in a big family and I know how it feels having more siblings.

I don’t want my child to grow up alone without anyone to look up to or share his or her problems and worries with.

My friends advised me that if my husband does not want many kids I should just have them since I am the one who falls pregnant after all.

I am not sure about it and thinking about it makes me sad and miserable in my marriage. What should I do? – D.M

Dear D.M

Your marriage should be between you and your husband, if you know and respect that you will never be miserable and you will always have your man’s trust. Asking for advice from friends is not bad when you are married but sometimes it can backfire and leave you in much more misery than you were initially. Beware of friends who use other people’s marriages as an experiment of how certain ideas work.

You want to do things that you and your husband both agree because he is the one you will spend the rest of your life with. You made a mistake in pretending to be in agreement with him when you were not really convinced about your family planning.

Your husband needs to know your true position. Married couples do not always agree on everything. These are two people with different dreams coming to a compromise to share one dream.

You need to sit down with your husband and take time carefully and honestly to explain your reasons why you want many children, and he needs to make you understand his logic behind having just one. From there you try to listen and understand each other’s reasons and make compromises. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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