I am a family man with five children. One of my teenage sons is friends with a gay boy in the neighbourhood. With the debate going on about whether in Zimbabwe we should recognise gays and lesbians and their marriages in the constitution, I believe it is just wrong. I don’t know how I can stop my son from associating himself with this boy because I fear one day he will tell me he has turned gay as well. I just don’t like people who want to turn themselves into what they are not, God created a man as a man and woman as a woman. Why should one disrespect that and chose otherwise? How do I deal with the situation, I don’t want my son to be involved? – Concerned Father
Dear Concerned Father
I am not a psychologist or an expert in how humans behave, but I understand being gay or lesbian is not a choice; at least it should not be. It is far from being as simple as your describe. I grew up with a young boy who behaved a lot like a girl. He never declared himself to be gay I am sure because he was too young to understand what was unusual about him. But I can bet where he is today he has discovered himself to be gay. Everyone could see that somehow there was a little girl trapped in this boy’s body.
For me personally, it is wrong for anyone to say they hate or they don’t like gays and lesbians. I will be on record saying I do not support the idea that their marriage is recognised in Zimbabwe for the mere fact that I don’t want it to be a green-light to those who were not born gays and lesbians to make it a choice to be one. It is something that needs to be understood as a fact that it exists. But it is a private matter.
I understand the concern you have for your son. But for as long as his friend is not sodomising him or being intimate with his lover in his presence in a way that makes your son uncomfortable, I say you have no reason to worry. Your son will not turn gay just because his friend is. You will be teaching your boy to discriminate against other people if you tell him who to associate with and who not to. He just needs to understand why his friend is gay and to accept and respect him as an individual. And so do we all. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle