Career clash

I have been clashing several times with my son on what career path he should choose. He passed his A levels with flying colours and will definitely qualify for a law degree, but now he insists he wants to study media. No disrespect to those who have studied it but I believe if he has qualifications for a bigger and better level, why should he aim low? Please help me on how I can convince him to study law for his own good? I’m just tired of us shouting at each other and it is now straining our relationship. – Mai Tadiwa

Dear Mai Tadiwa

Your son is brave. I admire him for standing for what he believes in at such a difficult time – when his mother does not support him. I don’t see anything wrong with him studying media. Of course being an editor of a media organization does not seem more prestigious than being a lawyer. Most parents would want to boast that they raised a lawyer. But as parents we need to respect our children’s wishes and choices.

You need to accept that your boy is turning into a man now and you need to trust him enough to make his own decisions. He is still dependent on you but you will boost his self-confidence if you let him know that you believe in him and trust him to make his own decision. Fighting with him against his choice of a career path sends the message that “mother knows best, you listen BOY!” He is now at an age when he needs trust, admiration and support. Of course as mothers we always fear the worse decisions by our kids, but sometimes we need to trust them to make their own decisions. It is only through making the wrong ones that they will learn. They grow confidence and learn how to make things work in their lives when they know they have your backing.

Making a choice on what career path to follow is not about what our parents desire, how good we will look in a certain uniform or what society will think of us. It is about passion. One needs to choose something that is in his/her heart and that is what your son is trying to do, please support him. – Aunty Lisa