Here’s the thing. If your umbilical was snipped in Zimbabwe, whether white, red, pink, you’re Zimbabwean. I’m not one for nitpicking but people called Sibanda are not from Zimbabwe either. Not entirely anyway. Tshaka was hot on the heels of a certain rebel called Lobengula, himself a Zulu descendent. See where this is going?
Anyhow, this Lobengula chap, in his spare time, looted rival tribes. He renamed the conquered tribes. Shokos became Ncubes. Shumbas became Sibanda. Shona and Zulu genes mingled. The point is we all came from somewhere so nobody really owns or belongs to a certain part of the world. One world. One people.
On Sunday we woke up to the headline ‘Western Media Tear Tsvangirai to Pieces.’ I’m a little confused. I thought we didn’t believe what western media said. In fact, we’re not even supposed to follow foreign media, with their imperialist machinations. Operation Bvisai maDish and all that.
Work on the expansion of the Victoria Falls airport has begun. That, coupled with the publicity from the upcoming August tourism summit means we could see an increase in tourist arrivals.
Our tourism industry has been dormant since um, since, well since the other kids declared that they didn’t want to play with us anymore. During the tourism lull, the world was beginning to speak more of ‘the falls in Zambia’ like we’re a tuna salad. Once the airport is spruced up we’ll remind our western neighbours that the falls belong to us. I love Kalusha Bwalya. I was thrilled when Chipolopolo won AFCON. But I draw the line on Motsi oa Tunya. It’s ours. And I refuse to partake in any discussions over the matter.
News is that we are to receive maize from Zambia. Don’t get me wrong. The land ownership imbalance was sinful. But the flaw in the reform programme was that it took resources from experienced, capable, fulltime professionals and placed them in the hands of people who have neither the financial muscle nor the know-how to take over. Farming is a profession, like banking or nursing.
If you get rid of all the bankers or nurses and replace them with school leavers, it wouldn’t work. The punch line is that Zambia welcomed our ex farmers. So we’re paying a premium for maize, which would probably have come off our own farms if we had handled the reform process differently.
The man known as Prophet Makandiwa is reported to have said he wants the Daily News to be shut down. Every night I pray for an S600 Mercedes. Every morning I part my bedroom curtains and look out to the driveway to see… a rust-eaten Datsun. Our wishes and our reality exist separately sometimes.
Motor Action are suing Dynamos aka Dembare. The suit is over the small matter of a $10,000 transfer fee for William Kupera. Seriously. Ten grand. For his goals and for enduring racial taunts in Russia, Cameroonian legend, Samuel Etoo, makes $465,000 a week, which is $66,400 per day.
In three hours of kicking about on the training ground, Etoo makes $10,000. Nowhere else is the unfairness of life better illustrated than football.
Post published in: Opinions & Analysis