Dear Aunty Lisa
I am an albino girl aged 19. I don’t really like the way people look at me at my new school, it makes me feel so uncomfortable. I used to participate a lot in the public speaking and debate club at my previous school and I was very good at it.
Now I am a bit uncomfortable standing in front of other students. I have noticed my grades are going down because sometimes l lack confidence to ask my teacher what l don’t understand. Please help me; I don’t want to fail my A Level. – Denice
Dear Denice
You have to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are one special young lady. People need to change their perception about you, but it starts with you. You are locking your star inside you, allow it to pop out and shine. They need to appreciate you more for who you are and what you are capable of.
You are obviously going to get people looking at you because your skin colour is different to theirs. It would be the same thing if you were white in a black community or vice versa. But you need to turn that attention into great fame at your school. How do you want to be known and remembered when you leave there?
You say you are a good public speaker, let your talent shine and people will love you. There is no reason why you should feel like it’s a taboo to raise your hand in class to talk to your teacher. Remember they are just looking at you when you pass, they have not said anything negative or positive. You have grabbed the limelight already, now your audience needs a stunning performance to cheer you on. You will not fail if you do not want to. I believe you have the potential to pass you’re a level if you just tell yourself you want to and kick away everything that is bound to stop you on your way to success. – Aunty Lisa
Fussy Boss
Dear Aunty Lisa
I am having a problem with my boss. She is always fussy and she always overloads me with work. I am a hard worker and I always try to work to impress her but she does not even seem to notice. Instead of complimenting me for completing my assignments she then criticises me. Sometimes I just feel like bursting and shouting back at her. Should I sit down with her and tell her I don’t like what she does? – Hillary
Dear Hillary
It will be good for her to know that you don’t like her attitude towards you. But at the same time she may feel challenged since she is your boss. I don’t want to think that she does not like you. I have worked under such bosses and today when I look back they are the bosses I consider to have contributed much into the hardworking person that I am. You see it as work overload; of which it is, but you need to take that as a positive thing and use it to your advantage. You need the experience and to learn how to be quick. I want to believe she is being cruel in order to be kind. But if you still feel it is a bit on the extreme side and you cannot take it, be frank with her.
Say it in a kind way though, because you don’t want to upset her if she did it for your own sake. Make sure when you talk to her you are not emotional and it is not immediately after she been “cruel” to you. – Aunty Lisa
Ugly dressing
Dear Aunty Lisa
My niece is a rape victim. After she was raped she has had a bad change in behaviour that worries me a lot. She is just careless how she looks when she goes out to college, she does not seem to care what people think of her; she simply does not care about anything.
Her life is a disaster. If you see her you will think she is gay because of her ugly dressing. I have tried going shopping with her to buy her some nice feminine clothes but she hardly wears them and when she does they are just so shabby. What can I do to bring my niece back? – Auntie Pee
Dear Auntie Pee
It’s a sad situation. Your niece must have been badly affected by the harrowing experienced she went through. She hardly values herself anymore and she sees herself as not worthy of any special treatment. Rape took away her dignity and pride. She will gain it again but it will take some time and great support from you and family members together with professional counselling.
She is going through a difficult phase that will need a lot of encouragement. You need to give her a lot of positive comments on things she does. Help her choose what to wear from the clothes you bought her.
Knowing that other people think she is looking lovely will lift up her spirits and let her know that there is something about her that can be admired. Ask her for some suggestions with simple things around the house and try doing things the way she suggests. This will help her feel useful and needed and start to re-build her confidence.
You will need to take her to a professional counsellor to whom she can talk about her rape incident. Locking it inside her heart and trying to move on and pretend it never happened can mess up everything in a rape victim’s life. Just like when we are angry – bursting and saying out our frustrations will help release the venom that may kill us if we stay angry and quiet. This will really affect her future if she does not get help and I am happy you have noticed this change of behaviour in her. Don’t give up on her because she needs you every step of the way. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle