I am a young man who has been married for four years. My wife has got a tendency of denying me my conjugal rights each time I come home late from hanging out with my friends. She refuses to wake up to serve me my super and insists that she needs to rest. The message she is sending to me is to stop socialising, stop hanging out with my friends – which is not possible. I can’t rush home and surrender my social life just because my whining wife needs attention. I am sometimes starved and I am affected to the extent that I am rude to our kids. Please help me. – BaTee
Dear BaTee
Do you realise how selfish you sound right now? When your wife request you come home to her you think that is whining, yet when it comes to sex she is supposed to jump to your needs. It may be your right – but you need to know that you do not own your wife. She has the right also to give her reasons why she cannot sleep with you and her not being in the mood is a good enough reason.
Marriage is about compromises. As the husband and father to your kids you need to see to it that you are making your family happy. Your wife’s needs are to be fulfilled by you – not any other man. She yearns to spend time with you and when you chose to be with your friends instead it breaks her heart. When that happens it is unfair to expect her to make love to you with a smile on her face.
You are not being asked to give up your social life. Whatever it is you do with your friends -if I’m assuming right that it is drinking beer, can always be done in the comfort of your home, around your family.
Sex does not start in the bedroom. It is a process that starts even with some sweet messages during the day, watching a nice movie together in your lounge, cooking dinner together or a welcome home hug/ kiss. If your wife is not getting this it is difficult for her to turn herself on for that moment. The last thing she needs is her husband coming home late and expecting her to wake up to serve him after disregarding her needs. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle