My wife refuses me my conjugal rights when I get home. I paid lobola for her and she still decides not to sleep with me when she chooses. She has come up with excuses that she is tired from work or she is not feeling well. She has never given me reasons to think that she is cheating, so I don’t think she is. But I need her to be able to satisfy my needs because I married her.
I have asked my friends for advice and some have told me to tell her that I should just deal with prostitutes. My wife does not seem to be moved by that and sometimes I think of actually doing it to punish her. Is a man wrong for wanting to be intimate with his wife every day? – Tom Thomas
Dear Tom Thomas
I don’t see how you will punish your wife by having an extra-marital affair. In this day and age where HIV/AIDS is a big threat to people’s lives, you will not only be putting only your wife’s life on the line but yours as well. You just don’t want to do that. Do not take lobola as the right for you to do whatever you want with your wife. You begin to sound as if your wife is some sort of asset you bought and you should do whatever you feel like with IT.
Yes we marry to be intimate with our loved ones – but marriage is not a guarantee that someone will have sex every day. You need to accept that some days your wife does not feel like it.
If you can put her in the mood then good for you. But if she is not feeling well or not in the right frame of mind, then you need to respect her No. However, it will be cruel for your wife to push you away for no reason. You need to talk to her and make sure you two understand each other. It is not healthy to work on assumptions in marriage.
Do not assume things and act on your assumptions. If there is a problem your wife needs to be able to open up to you. You need to understand each other and know your likes and dislikes while being intimate, then you know exactly how you can satisfy each other. – Aunty LisaPost published in: Lifestyle