The wrong type

Dear Aunty Lisa

My best friend always seems to go from one bad relationship to the next. I can’t help feeling that she falls for the wrong type of guy, but I’m finding it really difficult to tell her this. She puts the guy’s looks before his character, personality or anything else, and it’s even got to the stage where her last boyfriend and new boyfriend act the same way. I don’t think this is a coincidence. I don’t want to come across as interfering, but I’m also tired of seeing her getting hurt and think I should step in and say something. – Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend

I really admire you for wanting to help your friend. You are truly a good friend, and believe me good friends are hard to find these days. Telling her how you feel is not going to be easy.

Some people may say you are interfering, but you know why you want to talk to her, you want to her get out of the dead-end cycle she’s in. A relationship that’s going nowhere is usually easier to see when you are not the person experiencing it. So she may not like what you have to say, but if she is a true friend she will understand where you are coming from.

Remember your honesty might frighten her , but she will hopefully see that she has someone to share her pain with. Make sure you do not blame her in the process, empathise with her and be frank in a kind way. Get to use her responses as a way of getting feedback from her, you learn how she is understanding or misunderstanding you by reading her facial expressions or verbal communication. What you do not want is her misinterpre-ting your intentions. You are just a concerned and loving friend, nothing more nothing less. So, this is what she needs to understand for her to consider your message. It will help if you start by clarifying that. – Auntie Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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