Oppah’s Talk Show

Oppah Muchinguri – one time companion of guerrilla fighters – has declared war on Gumburas. [insert laughter]


Stuck for ideas, Zanu (PF) members are taking turns to entertain us with the most outrageous public utterances. Throughout the Gumbura saga, the minister for women’s affairs – preoccupied with her new boy toy – remained tight-lipped. Two months later, Muchinguri regains her powers of speech.

Starving women among the Tokwe-Mukosi flood victims have been compelled to grant sexual favours to police officers guarding supplies, in exchange for food.

If Oppah’s heart really ‘bleeds’ – as she claims – each time she hears reports of rape and, if she and other influential women really want to defend the oppressed, Chingwizi is a great place to begin. Rape is a national problem. But it is expected that the country’s prominent women – Joice Mujuru, Grace Mugabe and Oppah Muchinguri – take the lead. Joice is preoccupied with her battle to succeed a man who might very well outlive us all and Grace, of course, is still sulking over the EU’s denial of her shopping trip.

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