Up to mischief

In your speech, you mentioned your wish for a strong healthcare system. How wonderful that you have those gifted doctors in Asia to attend to your every bodily niggle. Speaking of doctors – what really is the matter with your eyes, your Excellency? They looked a little rheumy. Like old car headlights, whitened by sun exposure. Have the Malaysians failed to fix it? Perhaps you could try Parirenyatwa hospital. Oh, that’s right. All our best doctors have emigrated and our equipment is a


You said we shall never repeat the mistakes of our forebears, who were deceived by foreigners that came pretending to be hunters, only to later colonise us. Are we not permitting Chinese nationals to hunt for ivory? Are they not slowly but surely taking over too? Your speech writer is up to mischief. Is it Jonathan? You should keep an eye on him. His speeches are always loaded with irony. Did you hear what he said about Cuthbert Dube’s Zifa re-election?

‘The leadership that was returned had nothing to show for its performance and nothing different, new or better to offer… administration characterised by breathtaking chaos, incompetence and corruption with no precedence since our independence .’

It was hard to tell if he meant Zifa or Zanu (PF). The secret service – those terrifying boys in dark glasses – have a knack for arranging mishaps so you must forgive me for not giving a return address.

Yours faithfully


Twitter: @JeraAfrika

Post published in: News

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *