I am a 25-year-old woman based in Cape Town. I met a guy here in 2010 and we later stayed together without getting formally married. He had divorced his wife back in Zimbabwe and promised to marry me.
Problems started when the former wife got the word that I was staying as wife and husband with the man. The ex-wife came to Cape Town to dump their child at our place. The husband ordered the ex-wife to go back with the child to Zimbabwe and hand him over to her mother or take custody of the child while husband provides for his welfare.
Instead, the ex decided to stay put at our place and would have differences that led to regular fist fights. After I had a child last year June, the husband dumped me and left our place. He had bought a car and is now staying with the ex. He no longer supports our child. What should I do aunty? – Confused woman
Dear Confused woman
I am not really sure if you knew these two were really divorced or not, you kept referring your husband as the ex-wife’s husband. I find that weird. But anyway the matter is you have been abandoned with your child without any support.
It is difficult to deal with the matter in the courts to get maintenance for your child because you are both outside Zimbabwe. All I can advice you to do is to try and talk to the man. Let him know you accept that he may not necessarily want anything to do with you – but that is no reason to neglect his child.
Sadly I know of some men who may be so heartless that they abandon their children. The best you can do is work hard for your child. If he will not take care of the child, then tell yourself and know that it is possible to raise your child alone as a woman. Your mother’s love is enough to raise your child and provide for what he/she needs.
Challenge yourself to work and start standing up and doing something about your life. Persuading him to look after the child sometimes gives him the fuel to abuse both you and the woman he is with right now, because in his eyes you are just vulnerable and dependent. You can do anything you set your heart on. Be an inspiration to your child and show that it is not the end of the world. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle