Not ready for marriage

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am a woman aged 30 and I am not ready for marriage but I want a baby. Does that make any sense? My family always curse me for saying this and I wonder why I am not understood.

Of course the father has the rights to his child but I don’t think I am ready to perform all wifely duties that our culture entails. I am for equality and respect and I don’t know if there is any man in my country who will give me that. So, this is the reason I don’t think I will do well in marriage. Please may you advise what you think will become of me as a woman? – Sandy

Dear Sandy

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you; I understand where you are coming from. But I think your problem is not with marriage itself but rather with the kind of man available for marriage. You are against is being with a man who does not respect you and looks down on you as a possession rather than a partner.

While those men do exist and plenty of them, I do believe there is a man out there who can give you love and respect as well as the child that you love so much. The way we talk about equality has scared many men away. They need to know that women’s empowerment does not mean men’s disempowerment.

Respect your man and he will respect you. Children need a mother and a father. Don’t rush into anything. Be patient and wait for your Mr Right. He is our there somewhere. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle
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