I am an Ndebele lady who has been dating a Shona man who is working in my hometown. He has become serious with the relationship and he wants to introduce me to his parents next month.
I have learnt a little Shona while dating him but it comes out with a Ndebele accent. I am terrified each time he reminds me of the visit. How am I going to communicate with his people and will they accept a daughter-in-law from another tribe? Please advise me on what I can do to impress them? – Siza
Dear Siza
My advice is: please don’t think too hard about it, just be yourself and forget about impressing them. You have impressed your partner, who is convinced that you are the right person to introduce to his family. It is up to his family to trust their son’s choice.
He needs to inform them that you do not speak their language just so they know they will need to speak with you in English or Ndebele if they can, you may be surprised. Tribalism is something that is non-existent in our hearts; it is just a few individuals who entertain it in their minds.
You have nothing to worry about. Stage fright as you meet new faces is the only challenge that you may have, but like I said, just relax and be yourself. It is easier to be natural than to pretend. For as long as your man loves you his family will respect that. You also need to open up to your man about your fears. It helps you when he is aware and he will be backing you during the visit. At times he may even let the family know of your fears, which will make them try and make the environment free for you and more receptive. Stop worrying and look forward to the big day.
In the meantime, practice your Shona diligently. If they can see you are really making an effort they will appreciate that – no matter how bad your accent might be. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle