Why not compromise?

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am a 39-year-old man who has been married for five years now. My wife is someone who makes a fuss about dates; from the day we first kissed to our wedding day. I am completely the opposite and she always blames me for not caring much about things.

Next month will be our fifth anniversary and I hate the idea that she will be expecting me to do something with her. I am always busy trying to provide for her and our child. To me that is what matters, that I am able to provide for my family and give them the best I dream for them.

Trying to explain to her how I feel about it sometimes seems like I am disrespecting her values. What do I do? I don’t want to get into another fight we had last year when she thought I had forgotten the date. – Rich P

Dear Rich P

I don’t think you will lose anything by making a compromise. On the contrary – you will avoid a fight, make your wife happy, strengthen your marriage and improve your own character. Any worthwhile relationship involves a degree of self-sacrifice by both parties.

Your wife believes in something you don’t. By showing that you are not willing to acknowledge her beliefs in any way will upset – her just as it would offend you if she refused to accept something that you find important. I don’t think you will win the debate by talking to her. So why not just do something special for her and make sure you get her to understand how much you love her. That is what she wants. She also wants to spend some quality time with you – that is what this is really all about.

Get to do that with her more often – so that she does not have to press that there has to be a special event in order to get your attention.

It is important to know each other as partners. Once you know your partner’s weaknesses and strengths then you will be able to complement each other as you co-exist. Marriage is never easy because it is about two total strangers who are coming together to be the closest relatives. Tolerance is vital if you want a long, happy marriage. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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