Turning point

Dear Aunty Lisa

My teenage son is behaving strangely this holiday. He is 14 and he has changed since he started High School. So he went for a haircut at a local barber and came back with only the left and right side of his head shaved, leaving some hair on the middle of his head down to the back. I have seen some stylish cuts before but this one is a bit weird.

I was shocked and asked him whether the electricity at the shop went down before the barber was finished. He said it is finished – laughing at me. He is loving dropping his pants, leaving a little bit of his underpants out. I am in a state of shock and the last thing I want is my kid coming home drunk with some illegal drugs or telling me he has impregnated some girl.

My friends tell me that I am worrying too much about him but I don't want to look back at his life in future and remember this to have been the beginning of a certain turning point in his life that I failed to manage. Please tell me what you think? – Mama G

Dear Mama G

Your friends may be right that you are worrying a bit too much, but I think you are just being a normal caring mother. That is what mothers who love their sons do, they worry too much and freak out at any change in their children. But boys will be boys, and these are the things they are doing these days.

It is what is trending with their generation. So telling him to wear his pants properly and have a "normal" hair cut will be asking him to be the nerd among his peers. Peer pressure is a powerful thing and you are right to worry that if he has been influenced to go with what is trending on in fashion, what next would he copy from his peers? You need to constantly sit him down and talk to him about how cruel the world can be if he is not careful about his choices in life.

If he was my son, I would personally have nothing wrong with him having the stylish hairstyle in town or dropping his pants like other kids his age are doing, so long as the under wear beneath are clean. Lol. But he needs to be aware that while it is good to go along with what is trending around him, he needs to draw a line.

He needs to know about STIs, about unwanted teenage pregnancies, the dangers of smoking and taking drugs and any dangers he may be prone to as a teenager who is just flowing along with the tide. There will be nothing wrong with a mother talking to her son about these things. Obviously you don't want to do it in a confrontational way that would create a cold space between you and your son, you want to be close to him always. So be careful not to criticise his choices about superficial things like pants and haircuts that are not REALLY important in the greater scheme of things. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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