Verbal abuse

Dear Aunty Lisa

My sisters have a tendency of shouting and verbally abusing my wife. Apparently there is one of my ex-girlfriends they liked so much and hoped I would marry. But it did not work out and I found my Mrs Right in my wife. They have a problem with her simply because she does not want to go to the same church as them.

I am 25 years old and my three sisters are older than me, they are well respected in the family and their voice is respected even by my parents. My wife is always stressed with how they are disrespectful of her. Please advise on how I can help her deal with them. – Just Married

Dear Just Married

Communication is the key to this situation. The onus is on you to sit your sisters down and explain things clearly to them. The girl they wished was their sister-in-law is not. That is history and she will never be part of your life now. Help them to face the reality that you have made your decision and it is final.

They need to accept your wife, a woman you have chosen, and know that she is the one you love. They are there to give you advice as your older sisters, but they should not make life miserable for you and those you love. You need to make yourself heard, stand up and make a strong statement that they need to respect and accept your decision.

It is not easy for your wife to respond to them when they abuse her because she is in an inferior position as a “stranger” who is trying to fit into the new family. For the meantime until she fits in and finds ways to fight her own battles, she needs your protection and defence. Each time you are quiet and your sisters abuse her in your presence you are giving the picture that you are okay with it and you agree with whatever your sisters would be saying, which is not good. Speak out and gain the respect of your sisters.

Also you need to assure your wife of your love and support often as it sounds as though things are quite tough for her at the moment. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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