Who’s the boss?

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am a dreamer – someone who strongly believes in setting my goals and going towards them. I have a vision of what I want to achieve in the next 10 years already and I once shared it with my girlfriend and she made a joke about it, finding me crazy to plan 10 years ahead. She is someone I love and being 30 years old I was planning on marrying next year after hopefully finding work soon.

We love each other but sometimes I feel she does not have that drive I have, she makes me feel so stupid each time I talk to her about my plans and dreams. She is 27 years old and she is doing well with her accounting job. I must admit she is well paid by this big company she works for. Because of the situation in our country I am not employed yet, even though I recently completed my Masters. So she takes care of me most of the time, especially when we go out and stuff.

My friends envy me for that but sometimes I feel she bosses me around and sort of enjoys having an unemployed boyfriend. Each time I share with her my vision of having my own business in the future she tells me to snap out of it. It sinks my heart and makes me feel like I am not able. Sometimes I question whether she loves me. Please help me decide on what to do, am I really being unrealistic? – Blah Henry

Dear Blah Henry

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you dreaming. Dream on dreamer, that is how all the successful people got where they are today. It started as a dream, then they worked towards achieving it.

It is healthy for everyone to have short, medium and long term plans in their lives. You are educated and being unemployed does not mean that you have to always wait for an opportunity to come, sometimes you dream of being an employer yourself and not only earn yourself a living but help other educated Zimbabweans who are unemployed.

A person like you does not need a person like your girlfriend. You need someone who will support you, someone with the same attitude towards life. You need to walk your journey with a dreamer who will encourage you along the way. Of course critics like her are needed in pointing out your weaknesses and giving you a reason to want to prove them wrong.

The bottom line is you need encouragement. Being pampered by your girlfriend is not healthy, especially when she seems to be using her financial status to view you as inferior to her. Someone like that would make a bad wife, unless she changes. You need to associate yourself with people who give you hope. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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