I have a 19-year-old daughter who is four months pregnant and I am so worried about her future. I am 36 and I had her when I was just 17. I remember how tough it was to have a child at that age and did not want this for her. I have tried to be the best mother I can be but she has remained arrogant, thinking that I want to dictate her life.
Now she is pregnant and the boy responsible is denying his responsibility. When I had her, his father and I were so much in love. My mother was worried that I was too young to get married, but I did well. I feel so disappointed that she committed herself to someone who was not serious about her. I feel so hopeless looking at her and I don’t know what to tell her except to shout at her most times. I can’t imagine myself having to take care of her baby, what would people say about me as a mother? – Mai Sharon
Dear Mai Sharon
You need not look at what society will say. At this moment you just need to care about what your daughter needs, which is your support and love at a time when she is being rejected by the one she loves or loved. People might blame you for not being a good mother but you need to turn a blind eye and deaf ear to all that and love your daughter at a time she feels all the love is fading.
She made a mistake and deep down her heart and mind she knows she has and you do not have to rub it in. You married and got pregnant by an honest man when you had your daughter, but there was nothing that could truly guarantee you that he was genuine and would stick by you.
It is unfortunate that your daughter did the same and found out that the father of her unborn child is not honest. If he is a young man he may be at the moment confused and shocked with the implications of the pregnancy and may come around if you give him time. Give your daughter all the supports she needs, you don’t want her to get depressed. If the guy doesn’t come around there is absolutely nothing wrong with you continuing to stay with her. The most important thing that you can help and empower her with is education. Help her continue with her education if you hire a maid or look after your grandchild yourself. You need to do that for the future of your daughter. You do not want to give her the thought that it is the end of the world for her. She can be an educated, independent mother who will be there for her child all the way. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle