I am in a fix to pay for my son’s school fees. For the past two years my wife has been taking care of it because she was the breadwinner of the family while I took care of the groceries and some small expenses because I am self-employed and things are not too well. We separated in November after she suspected me of cheating with the maid.
The truth is I was beginning to admire the maid but I never cheated on her or told the maid anything that would qualify as cheating. My wife was beginning to boss me around and disrespect me simply because I could not provide for the family. At first I thought the arrangement was okay but it appeared she felt something was missing, she wanted the power and was beginning to make decisions without me.
When I tried to talk to her she started bursting out making claims that I was spending time with the maid while she was at work and cheating on her. I want my wife back and I don’t know how to convince her that there was nothing between me and the maid. Please help. – J.S.M
Dear J.S.M
You need to be clear and truthful with yourself before you try to win her back. You talk like an angry man who has been hurt by the actions of your wife towards you. Your wife was a breadwinner but she failed to respect you, something that was bad. Money should not influence people to belittle those who earn less than them.
You initially talked about struggling to pay for your son’s fees, which you say was previously sorted by your wife before you separated. This makes your wanting her back all suspicious for someone who is also bitter about her behaviour. You need to figure out whether you really want your marriage to work, whether you are ready to work things out with your wife without resorting to admiring maids when you feel your love for your wife fading.
Women need love, show your woman some love and you may be surprised that everything falls into place with her respecting you. I could say the same thing to your wife, to respect you and everything falls into place with you loving her – but I choose to say what I did because it is you I am talking to. Try and work hard and share the responsibilities equally, if that is not possible at least show some appreciation to your wife for being the bread-winner. Also sit down with her and talk to her how her attitude on the whole issue affects you, she may be doing it without knowing how badly it crushes you. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle