I am a mother of a teenage son who has given me a headache. I have tried beating him up so many times as a way of disciplining him but it is not working, I have even involved the extended family to try and talk to him – but he only changes for a few days before he starts his mischief again.
He goes out clubbing with friends of his age, one of the friends is son to a rich man in our area so he drives. They go out clubbing, drinking beer and heaven knows what else they do. My greatest fear is having a line of girls coming to my house saying he has impregnated them or the police telling me they have arrested him for some criminal behaviour. I am beginning to feel so stressed and blaming myself as a mother. I feel I have failed my only child and I don’t know what to do. Please help. – Mama Dee
Dear Mama Dee
I understand your frustrations and clearly hear you, but would it comfort you to tell you that your teenage son is probably acting normally for his age? No one wants her son to misbehave. We want them to go to church every Sunday and run away from friends who influence them to do bad, but this is not always the case with reality.
We do not have control of our children’s lives forever. This is the time he is beginning to show that he is growing up and deserves a little freedom, something every teenager experiences at such an age. Your son is succumbing to peer pressure and you should not blame yourself for that. There is a time for our children to think parents do not know much about their world and they don’t understand when you tell them not to do what other kids of his age are doing.
To him everything is normal, because all his friends are doing it. You just need to keep reminding him to be responsible every now and then and show him that you trust him to do that. Otherwise most of the horror of what they are up to behind your back exists only in your imagination. You will never know what they are up to and it would kill you to imagine.
The important thing is to let your son know that you trust him to be responsible. Sit him down and have a good talk with him. Tell him you understand that he is growing up and that he needs to become his own person. Explain that you will not beat him any more but that you expect him not to wreck his life with partying, drinking, girls and crime. Explain that his whole future is in his hands and he needs to behave responsibly and make sure that his future is worth living.
And then I really advise you to pray to God that he is not into mischief that is beyond his age or that would get him behind bars. I am sure you are not a bad mother, so forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself for challenges life throw at us. Stay strong. – Auntie Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle