Talk about it

Dear Aunty Lisa

My husband has a very old grandmother and she lives with us. We have two children and they need a lot of attention because they are still young. The challenge is my grandmother also needs the same attention because she can sometimes harm herself if left alone. I am concerned about having her around without domestic help. I am not sure about talking to my husband about taking her to an old people’s home. Culturally sometimes it is not taken politely as the daughter-in-law is expected to take care of her husband’s relatives. Please advise on what I should do. – Mai Mati

Dear Mai Mati

I totally understand your dilemma in what the families expect of you in your situation but in the end you need to make decisions based on what is best for you and your children. Our families and society in general will always have an opinion about what we do and those opinions are not always going to be something nice.

Whether they think highly or lowly about you, that does not help you much in life. You do not want to live a life where you are always afraid of what people would think or say if you make certain decisions. The person whose opinion matters here is your husband, he may be seeing the same need to take his grandmother to an old people’s home – but the fact that you have not complained may be why he has kept quiet about it. You need to sit him down and discuss this with him. Explain the challenges you are facing with her and why there is need for you to have either domestic help or send her to the home. I don’t think your husband would freak out if you talk to him politely. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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