I am a 22-year-old new mother. I just had twins and I had not gone for a scan before and I feel so terrified by the new experience. I am currently with my mother at our family home with my husband out of town, so she is helping me with them.
Sometimes I feel so terrified to think that I am a mother of two and those tiny little babies depend on me when I feel I am dependent on my mother myself. I don’t feel mature enough to have someone relying on me and sometimes I have strong thoughts of running away leaving the babies with my mother. Is this really normal? Why do I hate my own babies? – Mai Two
Dear Mai Two
You are not crazy my dear. This is a new experience you are facing and you are not only overwhelmed by the responsibility thrust on you, you could also be suffering from post-natal depression. This is a very common phase of downheartedness that new mothers go through. It will pass with time. The labour pains affect women differently and it is quite common that women feel strong feelings against their baby after giving birth.
If possible, you need to get some counselling to talk through with a professional these strong feelings and to deal with the shock that you had in suddenly realising you had twins. You need to understand that your fears are normal and with time you will get used to being a mother and everything will come naturally to you. The main thing is not to worry – just take each day as it comes. Thank God you have a mother who is there to help you.
It would also help to explain your fears to your mother so that she understands what you are going through and does not just assume that you are happy to be a mother like many others after giving birth. She is the closest person to help you deal with the whole process and your new role as a mother of two. Believe me, things will be normal and soon you will be proud of being mother to your two blessings. I wish you all the best with your new experience. I suggest you try contacting the Harare Counselling Centre for advice. 8 Coltman Road, Mount Pleasant. Harare. Tel +263 (4) 744580 or +263 (4) 744212 – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle