I am two months into my marriage and my husband sometimes acts in ways I hate. I have come to discover some of his irritating weaknesses and they just piss me off. My major worry though is how he treats me.
He really loves me, there is no doubt about that, but I would prefer he loves me differently. I have special ways I desire to be touched and loved and he never does that. I have never told him and I am not sure if I should. I don’t want him to feel offended if I tell him.
But there again if I keep quiet I will continue to yearn for that special touch and I honestly do not want to cheat on him ever. How do I handle this? – Newly Wed
Dear Newly Wed
Yes you are right, most men can feel challenged, offended or disrespected if they are told what to do in a relationship by a woman. It is just something within them and it is that ego that pushes them to want to believe that they know what their women want. You need to handle this carefully.
But not all men respond badly if they are told by their woman how she wants to be loved. They honestly cannot know everything about you overnight with marriage. It is how they are told most of the time that crushes or challenges a man’s pride can infuriate them over the issue. So you need to be careful not to criticise what they are doing or make them feel inadequate or useless in any way.
You need to broach the subject in a loving and gentle way and in a good atmosphere. First of all, tell your man that you appreciate all the good that he does. Then you can into telling him some of the things that you would like him to do, so that he does not just feel like you have only seen the negative.
Tell him in a nice way, explaining that for you both it is expected that you do not know each other much as a new couple – and you need to explore and get to know each other in many different ways. You need to be patient and to move with sensitivity. You are building for a lifetime here. Don’t rush or be impatient or critical. You will eventually manage to adjust to his weaknesses and appreciate his strengths more. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle