I don’t like these comments

Dear Aunty Lisa

I am a 22-year-old woman who is doing an accounting course with a local college. I have a different body structure to others. I have slightly big hips and big boobs and the way I look has resulted in some trouble and some teasing from mates at my college. In fact almost everywhere I walk I get people passing comments, something I really don’t like.

People treat me like some prostitute and from the behaviour of young men at my college I can see they think I am so loose and they are always lining up to come and propose to me. I have a boyfriend, someone I have known since I was in High School, he loves me for who I am and sometimes I get the feeling that he thinks I am cheating at college when I tell him stories of how the boys there comment about the way I look. I guess he is bound to be jealous. May you please help me with how I can deal with this? – Cheryl

Dear Cheryl

There is no need for you to be apologetic about the way you look. God made you that way and you need to accept and love your body. If anyone has a problem with it then you are not answerable to them, it is their problem. It is their problem, not yours. And if they have any questions they should ask God.

You are beautiful and you should not regret it as if it is something you chose, it was God’s gift and you should treasure it. What you are going through at school and everywhere you go is sexual harassment and you should not hesitate to show that you do not like it. Make it very clear to the boys who pass their comments that you are not comfortable with that. Otherwise they will start thinking you enjoy the attention.

It should be known that Cheryl does not want people saying stuff about her body as if it is the only thing to talk about her. Why should the focus be on your body and not your brains or any other things you are talented in? It is up to you to divert that attention to something else by making it clear to the next person who says something about you that you do not like.

About your boyfriend, make sure what you tell him or the way you say it does not suggest that you are enjoying those comments, or that you are inviting them in any way. Your boyfriend is not there with you wherever you go and so it could be difficult for him to appreciate or understand exactly what is going on.

Be careful about how you dress as that may be misinterpreted sometimes. It would help to avoid clothes that are too revealing. Do not get me wrong here, everyone has the right to freedom of expression through the way they dress. But you do not want to dress in such a way that will push the next person to exercise his or her freedom of expression through speech and say something that would be offensive. Wear something that you are comfortable with around others. Ask your female relatives for their advice about your clothes. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle
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