I have been dating this young man for the past three years now and he is not showing any signs to commit himself into marriage. We have not been having any sexual relationship, something he used to contest at the beginning of our relationship until he finally got convinced that it would be best for us to abstain and save it for marriage.
I am turning 30 next month and that is not a good age to have a committed boyfriend who is never giving any signs that he will marry you soon. I have asked him several times what his plans are and he does not say anything concrete except that there is no need for us to rush it.
Well while I don’t want to believe I am rushing anything, I don’t see the reason why we should not be entertaining such thoughts at this age. I honestly do not feel any pressure to get married but my issue is that after three years honestly any normal partners would be considering settling down.
He keeps telling me he has issues that he needs to sort out before he can start planning about getting married. He never tells me what the issues are but people say he has a baby with a girl who he is being alleged to have been two timing me with. I have refused to entertain those rumours for some moths now. But his attitude is making me think there may be some truth in this. What do I do, I am getting confused whether I am being used? – Lady Pee
Dear Lady Pee
Your boyfriend definitely seems to have some issues he is not telling you and I don’t blame you for being tempted to believe the rumours going around. You need to sit down with him and tell him about these things you have heard and ask him straight up if there is any truth in them.
You have been going out for a long enough time to be open with each other about issues affecting your lives. If there are other things he needs to sort out before he can settle down with you, surely he must be in a position to be open with you and tell you that this A, B and C needs to be addressed and it is going to take me this much time and also how they affect us if we are to be together with them unsolved.
You must be in a position to plan together now and know what troubles or makes both of you happy. Do not rely on rumours, talk to your man and get him to explain his true position. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle