I have been married to my woman for three months now and I have been disappointed with the reality of what I have seen in her. I admired her loyalty and good manner at church as she knelt down for pastors and church elders, which she still does.
My problem, however, is that I don’t see that at our house. She does not kneel for me while giving me food and all. I have complained about it with the elderly women in church and they have not sat down to talk to her about it. In fact, they seemed to have given each other that look that I am asking for too much. I may be too cultural, like one of my female friends accused me to be, but that is me and I expect my wife to appreciate that. Is that really wrong? – Victor
Dear Victor
There is certainly nothing wrong with you desiring your wife to respect you in that manner. The approach you take is the one that may give you problems. Talking to church elders may not be an issue in other churches but what is the point when your wife is there and she is not aware of your grievances? It is more like you are selling out or exposing her weaknesses to outsiders on her back.
What if solving this issue is just a matter of telling her? I really acknowledge she is overlooking this issue by not maintaining what she does in public to church leaders to you. While I am not a big fan of women kneeling down for men, if that is what one’s partner wants and sees as a sign of love and respect then he/she needs to take advantage of exploiting that to show some love. What you need to do is learn to communicate with your partner without going through other people. I know it is traditional to go through church elders and aunties, but sometimes that does not help.
It only puts your marriage secrets out there in the open for everyone to gossip about. I suggest you try talking to your wife first and explaining how important it is to you. You need to talk to her first and only when you cannot understand each other then seek a third party to intervene. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle