I am a 33-year-old man who is married to a very young wife and she fusses a lot about me having female friends. I am very successful in what I do and my work finds me having to associate with people from various backgrounds – but she fails to understand that.
She smashed my phone when a female workmate phoned me at home and I had taken the call outside innocently because our kids were making noise.
Now she has issues with every female who calls me after hours. What do I do? – BaTatenda
Dear BaTatenda
Jealousy is a very difficult emotion to deal with but there is a lot you can do to reassure your wife that you are being faithful to her. It is important that you create an environment in your marriage and at work that does not portray you as a cheat to your wife. It is only you in this case who knows whether you are being honest or not.
It is important for you to be able to convince your wife that you are being faithful. I believe she gets a little frustrated when you take your work home and get busy on the phone at a time when she and the kids are needing your attention. That alone can be a turn off to her. And then to know that the people who are taking your attention away from your family to are female makes her really mad. She probably feels very disrespected. So I would suggest that you make a clear dividing line between work and family. You may need to limit the number of calls you take at home after hours, and even advise your colleagues that you cannot be open for help with work-related issues after working hours. You need to give time to your family.
If that is not possible then you will need to take time and sit down and explain to your wife that your work is of such a nature that you need to be available to your colleagues after hours. She will appreciate it if you take time to explain and help her understand how you operate – otherwise you will always have tempers flying. The bottom line to it is that she and your kids need quality time with you. If you make sure that you give them your dedicated attention often enough you may find that she will more readily tolerate you taking those calls.
You also need to take time to make her feel special to you and loved so that she does not doubt your faithfulness. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle