I am a 16 and live with my auntie and her family. I started living with them late last year after my parents left for South Africa to work there.
She has three children of my age and they are all girls. What bothers me is that she puts on a duty roster for cooking and all the household chores and she includes me in it.
Sometimes I see it as disrespectful for her to make me cook and scrub the floor. I would not mind being asked to stick to washing the car while the girls stop doing it. I just feel so humiliated sometimes, especially when they actually expect me to cook nice meals like the girls do. Is this really right, I am getting fed up with it? – Tavonga
Dear Tavonga
As much as it may sound unusual for a young man like you to be cooking and cleaning, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you doing these duties. You have grown up in a society that has for so long divided duties in terms of a person’s sex and that has been made to appear as the norm.
But there is no law that forbids men to cook and women to wash cars. In many other places in the world this is the norm! I think what your auntie is doing is good for you. You will grow up to be an all-rounder, being able to do everything on your own. Although this may not seem pleasant to you now, it will really give you great independence and be an advantage to you in the future.
You will not have to rely on a woman when you are hungry. You may even become a great chef one day if you practise cooking good meals now. It is pretty clear to me that your aunt is not being abusive. She is doing it all in the name of teaching you to be your own person. Her children are doing the same duties and you have mentioned they wash the car too, which is good because everyone where you are is an all-rounder. The only problem is that this goes against the norms of the patriarchal society that has been the way things are done in our country. But things are changing.
There is nothing wrong with your aunt encouraging you to compete with the girls in making good meals. There is nothing that can stop you if you put your heart to it. Just relax and try to enjoy learning everything she assigns you. I am certain that you will look back at such moments and appreciate having been taught the things she is teaching you. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle