Should I marry a man with no money?

Dear Aunty Lisa

I’m a 24-year-old woman who committed to a 27-year-old man. He has proposed to marry me and I’m considering accepting his proposal. But my major worry is the financial aspect of his side. He is not very stable financially, he has just started work after University and the company he is working for does not pay him so well since he is inexperienced. Sometimes they are not even paid.

How then is he going to take care of our financial needs if we get married? Do I have a genuine worry or I should just marry him because I love him so so much? – Chido

Dear Chido

Marriage is not all heaven on earth dear one. If you wish to avoid most marriage problems, you need to ask yourself the question “Am I ready for marriage?” before taking your vows.

Many people step into the marriage just because they feel that they are running past the right age for marriage, while others commit to the relationship because all their friends are doing the same! The best way to avoid marital problems is to enter into the institution only when you feel absolutely certain that you have found your soul mate and are ready to fulfill the responsibilities and obligations that come with it.

Despite taking this precautionary measure, couples are bound to face problems. The most important thing is to identify them and solve them together. They keep cropping up every now and then. But major problems usually start as minor ones, which if not recognised and corrected on time, may become severe enough to deal that final blow to one’s marriage.

People think marriage is all about love. Feelings and respect for the other are definitely the most important aspects of any relationship, be it marriage or friendship. However, let’s be realistic, money plays a big role in today’s world. So, yes you have a genuine and good cause for concern.

The best solution to this issue is not to rely too much on him. You also need to make sure that you are playing your part in the family by contributing financially. The poor economy we have in Zimbabwe these days does not want a woman who is dependent. You need to find ways of starting small businesses that will earn you money. Otherwise when financial crises hit your relationship, as they will without doubt, you will always be at loggerheads with your partner.

It is important that you both discuss your future together and begin that journey mapping your steps before you take them. I understand your man may not be well paid at the moment, but it is also important to consider the potential he has in future. – Aunty Lisa

Post published in: Lifestyle

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