I was recently promoted as the supervisor to a group of women in my company. I am 32 and single, although I am committed to someone I want to marry this December.
The ladies in my department are making working with them so difficult for me. They are constantly flirting with me and it seems like they are actually on a mission to see who captures my attention at the end of the day. I do not like the way they behave and I believe it is very unprofessional and disrespects me as their boss.
I do not want to appear rude to them but what other way can I let them know about my opinion over this. Should I task another respected lady in the company hierarchy to talk to them to change their behavior? – Boss Larry
Dear Boss Larry
I think sending another female colleague to speak on your behalf was going to be the best option if you were on the same level as these young women or if they were your seniors. In this case you are the boss and you are very right that they are being unprofessional and disrespectful, something that you need to address as a matter of urgency.
I do not see anything wrong with you telling them directly. At least that will set the tone for the kind of relationship you want to have with them. It tells them that you are not their friend, rude as that may appear. But in this particular instance I feel the best thing is for you to be truthful and professional up front.
Of course the way in which you choose to have the conversation will be very important. You are being sexually harassed and this needs to stop and it can only stop when you address the issue. You may choose to call them individually to your office and air your concerns or address them all at once.
If you do it individually this could have the advantage of disarming them if you feel they seem to have planned this together – divide and rule is a very successful tactic on many fronts. If you address them as a group they may feel they have strength in numbers. I expect that whatever you do, they would probably deny it and claim it is happening in your imagination. By addressing them as a group you do have the advantage of getting it over and done with and of having lots of witnesses of what you actually said, and thus avoiding misunderstanding or rumours later.
You need to let them know without showing any emotion – whether that be anger or frustration or anything else. Simply let them know that you have no interest in dating any of them and that you are committed to someone. Make it clear that what you are looking for is a professional relationship, with nothing more and nothing less. Good Luck. – Aunty Lisa
Post published in: Lifestyle