Breed like mice says Mudede

Registrar General Tobaiwa Mudede has reiterated his call for Zimbabweans to breed like mice.


"Zimbabwe needs more children. There has not been any meaningful population growth 10 years going back. People seem to be comfortable following birth trends of more developed countries and having only one or two children," says Mudede.

We could all go on a breeding spree like rats but, unlike rodents, family planning for humans is dependent on several factors. All that is required to ensure breeding in a rat colony is a burrow and any consenting mate. For humans, breeding requires forethought; where shall we live now that Chombo has demolished our house, can we afford diapers, to what school shall we send our children, will there be any jobs when our children graduate?

Of course our population growth has slowed down in the last decade. People simply cannot afford to have the four-child family of the 1990s. Mudede, whose job is to cook statistics and to hide the voters roll, is obviously well rewarded for his part in keeping Mugabe glued to the presidential desk for longer than anyone wants him. A job like that means Mudede can afford to live in a silk cocoon where everything is lovely. For the rest of us, grown men and women older than 30 are living with their parents because they cannot afford to pay rent. And what muroora wants to engage in baby making activities while sleeping in the bedroom next to the mother in law’s? A man who spends the best part of his day ducking municipal cops and selling bananas may not be in the mood for snuggling with his missus, come night fall.

Tobaiwa Mudede, who will be 72 on his next birthday, represents all that is wrong with Zimbabwe. Not only do we have senile old men in power, but we have a leadership that is clueless about the daily challenges of the populace. – Till next week, my pen is capped,


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