Matters of the heart

But my problem with him is that he is always flirting with girls on Facebook. I understand he is even dating some of the girls, he denies it all the time accusing me of mistrust.

He even chats with some of them in my presence while we are waiting for a movie to start or when we are spending a quality time together. He lies that they are his friends girlfriend or his sisters, but from the language he uses anyone can tell its not his sister.

Hie Babes, is just not the word to greet a sibling. We have had lots of fights about it but he keeps telling me that I must learn to trust him and that he loves me. Is he really cheating or Im just assuming things?

Sweet Miss

Dear Sweet Miss

If you are sure of him having these affairs, why are you still hanging on? This is not like a marriage where you need to consider the kids, talk things through and try to work it out. The man just doesnt respect you and he does not deserve your love.

It is good to be in love, but when love that is known to be sweet turns out to be sour no one deserves to be part of that weird love. You never had this man from the beginning, or he was never yours alone.

My idea of spending quality time with a lover is going somewhere quiet, alone, without any distractions where your partner is all you are focusing on. Fine it can be somewhere noisy as some would prefer it, but still the point is that it will be all about you and your man not you, your man and his ever-ringing G-Tide cell phone.

If you are not careful your man is going to control you, he will make you give him 100% trust and leave none for yourself. While in a relationship trust is important, you should also learn to trust yourself. Otherwise in the end you will end up blaming yourself for his mistakes.

If Im to be honest with what I think and ignore any possibilities of being hated by any cheaters out there I will say, yes your man is cheating, and you are not assuming things. Its time you stop fearing of losing him, because you never really had him.

Give time for yourself in this relationship, I feel you will definitely meet a guy who will just love for the person you are. Take deep breath and just understand that Love is part of life, but certainly not life itself. This man is not the one for you.

Gracey

Bad Breath robs confidence

Dear Gracey

I have an embarrassing problem that has robbed me of my confidence in public. I tend to have a very bad breath each time Im speaking. It doesnt matter I have brushed my teeth or not, my mouth just smells bad. Sometimes Im even avoiding talking when Im with my friends because I see some of them frowning. Im no longer confident to speak in public because people no longer hear what I say but smell that bad odour, girls dont even want to be near me, I no longer have the confidence to approach them. Do you have any idea what causes this?

Bee

Dear Bee

I understand how embarrassing your problem is. There are a lot of causes for bad breath, which can be prevented. I will try to highlight on some of them, hopefully you will pick what you are doing wrong thats causing this.

Some of the major causes of bad breath are stomach and intestinal disturbances, bacteria in the mouth, throat infections, and tobacco and alcohol use.

Alcohol consumption causes digestive problems which leads to bad breath. It also dries out the mouth, which reduces saliva production. Anything that dries out saliva in your mouth will give you a bad breath.

Drinking lots of water will help you avoid a bad breath, which is caused by dehydration. Since dehydration leads to constipation and digestive problems, it is very beneficial to drink liquids. This includes water, juice, coffee or tea.

Bad breath may emanate from the back of the throat due to tonsil infections resulting in excess bacteria. If you have throat problems you may well have some form of allergy.

Stress is another cause, which may not be readily apparent when you are looking for reasons for bad breath. Stress affects the digestive system. An insufficient supply of digestive enzymes may be another cause. Dieting may be another cause of bad breath.

The food you eat may also cause a bad breath. Certain foods, such as garlic, onions and certain spices are frequently cited as cause for a person’s bad breath. Both vegetarians and those who eat large quantities of meat may develop bad breath due, in part, to the digestive process. Digestion begins in the mouth. Saliva has enzymes which begin the digestion process, and the type of food eaten can affect the food chemistry of the mouth.

Saliva will also pick up odours from food within several hours after it has been eaten. Odours are strongest from carbohydrates – sugars, starches and cellulose, less strong from proteins, and nonexistent from fats. Bacteria in the mouth react with the decaying food and drink residue and can be the source of the foul odour.

Dental problems, especially periodontal disease and tooth abscesses, are often the cause of bad breath. These infected areas harbour large quantities of bacteria from the infection and foods eaten which have been allowed to putrefy. Other dental sources are gaps between teeth or crooked teeth, both areas where food can be left to decay.

Practicing good oral hygiene is always important, so start here. There are three areas of concern in the mouth: the tongue, teeth, and gums.

Brushing your teeth, flossing, and cleaning your gums, followed by rinsing thoroughly, will help minimize the problem by removing the build-up of bacteria.

The tongue may be loaded with decaying food particles and bacteria that cause bad breath. Brushing or scraping your tongue first thing in the morning and before bed will help eliminate the problem here. By removing the build up of decayed material, a major breeding ground for bacteria, you will reduce your plaque as well.

Get your teeth cleaned and any cavities filled. Plaque and cavities are a great breeding ground for the bacteria that cause bad breath.

Although mouthwashes will solve some of the immediate problems, you must get at the root of the cause. Mouthwashes in general are only a temporary mask for the problem, and their effects last only half an hour or so.

As I mentioned before your saliva is important in the fight against bad breath as it suppresses bacteria that cause it. Anything that reduces the saliva output, such as alcohol, drugs, smoking, and stress allows the microorganisms to proliferate.

Try to eliminating certain types of foods, such as high-fat foods, meat, sugar, exotic spices, and dairy products is the next step in pin-pointing the cause of bad breath. The types of food you eat may be one of the reasons for your bad breath.

Acidic foods, for instance, create an environment for bacterial growth. High-fat and high-protein foods may not digest well and give off gas. Sugary foods are a problem as the bacteria in the back of the throat feed off the sugar.

Garlic, onions and exotic spices (such as curry) are common sources of problems for many people. As these foods are digested certain compounds are transmitted from the blood through the lungs and exhaled for up to 24 hours Eat more fruits and vegetables. A lot of people associate eating green vegetables with poverty, but they are very good for your health.

Having said all this however, bad breath may also be the sign of potentially more serious medical conditions such as diabetes, duodenal ulcers, kidney or liver malfunction, and respiratory disorders. So, you may also need to consult your doctor.

Good Luck

Gracey