Why are we importing n’angas?

WARD 12, PARIRENYATWA HOSPITAL, HARARE - Zimbabwe is now importing n'angas (traditional medicine men) from North Korea. Remember that country that calls itself as the Democratic People's Republic of Korea? I have never quite managed to work out why countries that are not real

ly very democratic at all insist on calling themselves democratic republics. East Germany and Congo spring to mind – but I digress.
You might remember also that North Korea is the one who sent us trainers for the notorious Fifth Brigade in the early 1980s.
Anyway, I read the other day that our ministry of health, in its inimitable wisdom, has signed a memorandum of understanding with the DPRK ambassador for the supply of traditional medicines and n’angas.
Now, what I want to know is: what is wrong with our own home-grown variety of N’angas? In fact I thought we had a proliferation of n’angas. Unfortunately the idea of exporting them to North Korea – and anywhere else for that matter – has only just hit me. Do you think it’s too late? In these days of forex shortages we have to think export and not import.
I am not at all sure that Korean roots, bushes and snakes are good for us. I remember in the old days when the Koreans used to export a liqueur with a dead snake in it. A big attraction that was! And of course they consider dog meat a delicacy.
When I mentioned this to MaiMagaisa her eyes lit up and she told me she would immediately go into the business of breeding dogs for the Korean n’angas to eat when they get here. She told me she would even accept local currency for them, now that Gono has lopped the zeroes off our ever-diminishing dollars.
I also see that, not to be outdone, the South Koreans are invading us with a big bang too. At least they say they want to invest here and create employment. This is much better than the other lot who want to come here just to take our n’angas’ jobs.
But maybe there is method in their madness. With the number of presidential hopefuls in this place growing by the day, n’angas are going to be very busy. Perhaps the official thinking is that if they increase the available pool of n’angas that will also increase their chances of succeeding to the presidency.
You may recall that the latest presidential hopeful, Gideon ‘no-more-zeroes’ Gono, was in South Korea earlier this year trying to entice them to explore investment
Opportunities here. Mind you, I’m not quite sure if there is anything left for them after the last couple of years Mugabe’s ‘Look East Policy’, during which he has been dishing out land, mines, factories and everything else to the Chinese and the Malaysians.
Talking of the Chinese, that reminds me that Mugabe is apparently very angry at having been short-changed by our zhing zhong merchants in the dud deal involving Chinese planes for Air Zim. Two of them have been on the ground more than in the air since they arrived because of various mechanical problems.
It seems somebody forgot to mention the little detail of spare parts that need to be regularly replaced. Let’s hope the Korean n’angas bring enough roots – or they too might be grounded, or forced to dig for local roots with their Zinatha colleagues.

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