her way, you can tie a dead chicken (preferably of the dogs own making) around its neck and leave it there for a week or two.
The dog will soon be irritated by the carcass and then will become quite agitated – throwing its head from side to side as it tries to get rid of the thing around its neck – to no avail. When it starts to stink it will become quite frantic and when finally the chicken is removed, the dog will run from the carcass if it is shown to it. This is a very effective treatment for delinquent dogs.
The economy performs such a role in Zimbabwe today. Zanu (PF) has been grossly delinquent and in the process has killed what was once a vibrant and diversified economy. Today the carcass of the economy is firmly tied around its neck and do what it may, it will not be able to throw it off. I think we are into the third phase of this particular exercise – panic and severe distress.
The other lesson I was taught as a child growing up in the eastern Matopo hills was how to catch a baboon. Each school holiday, it was my job to shoot baboons raiding our crops and to try and keep them away. Let me tell you that is quite a task – they are so skilled in watching out for threats of any kind! Once you had got in one shot, you never got another shot at them -they would watch out for me and stay well out of range. Even if the guards and myself dressed in woman’s clothes they could tell the difference immediately and scarper out of sight.
So one day we put a few maize cobs in a drum with a small hole cut in the top. Baboons are very inquisitive and when the drum was placed in a location near the lands, they could not stay away. After a day or two, one of the more adventurous would stop, turn the drum over and then look inside. The smell of the maize plus the sight of those cobs would simply be too much. The baboon would reach in and grab a cob. Then they would discover that they could not take their hand out of the drum without losing their loot!
Zanu (PF) chefs are similar to that poor baboon – they see the goodies that are lying around and they cannot help but grab what they can. Such goodies are tied to various things and these ties cannot be hidden – so when Gideon Gono goes out and buys a US$365 000 Mercedes Benz he cannot hide the acquisition – he also cannot let it go and it will eventually lead to his capture and humiliation.
So the carcass of the economy continues to rot around Zanu’s neck. This week we experienced the one crisis I never thought we would ever see – we ran out of maize meal. People have stocks at home and we are getting in green maize, but a severe shortage of maize meal is the stuff that starts a revolution. By my calculations prices have doubled in the past six weeks. When that happens Zanu is going to be one very unhappy dog.
I hear that another monetary statement by Gono is about due – talk is of a new currency, another slashing of zeros and an attempt to control both wages and prices. This will not only be a completely futile exercise but will do more damage to the economy. Still at least that is not tied around the neck of the MDC -it is Zanu who will have to deal with that while the rest of us just learn to hold our noses when those Chefs fly by in their toys tied to trees that will eventually halt their progress and lead to their capture and humiliation.
Zanu (PF) gets chicken treatment
BY EDDIE CROSS
Two lessons from my youth may be of use in describing what is happening to Zanu (PF) at this time. The first is what I call the "Chicken Treatment". When you have a dog that insists on attacking the chickens and will not learn not to in any ot