Just imagine!

BY DI MITCHELL
It is early July, 2007. Gordon Brown, Angela Merkel, and Nicolas Sarkozy and the lesser known Jose Luis Zapatero, (Spain) Giorgio Napolitano (Italy), Jan Peter Balkenende (Netherlands) and Guy Verhofstadt (Belgium) are sitting around a table debating ways of destroying Mugabe (Zim

babwe’s adored leader) by deliberately raising inflation in his country to hitherto unimaginable ratesod and thus making food for ordinary Zimbabweans unaffordable.
Gordon: (Zimbabwe’s former Colonial Oppressor): My friends, I must report that Tony used to get all the blame for Mugabe’s troubles and was only half hearted about solving this most important of the world’s current problems. He should have known that Iraq was a mere pinprick. Money talks my friends. My long experience talking money gives me the edge here and I have a brand new idea: lets lean on our close acquaintances in the Zimbabwe supermarkets. I don’t know if a fellow called Sam Levy, who is big in supermarkets still has any influence there, but somebody might persuade him to start a movement doubling food prices every hour. That should get quick political results.
Angela: Great idea. It was very effective in our country at one time. I will put this matter at the top of our agenda at the next meeting of our Bundesrat.
Nicolas: We used to welcome his wife’s shopping trips to Paris. She was an important contributor to our economy, but I will not stand in your way this time. I am new in the Presidential job but I want to remain among the world’s top leaders. My foreign policy regarding Mugabe’s country will ensure this.
Jose Luis: Very important to get this policy right. A pity we have to be so tough because I have always been impressed with Mugabe allowing a building in his capital to be named KARIGAMOMBE. I believe this means Kill the Bull?
Giogio: Don’t forget that I will be making a great sacrifice in making an enemy of Mugabe. Italian shoe imports are much prized amongst the wives of his cronies and we cannot do without this huge contribution to our industry.
Jan Peter: The matter is of such high priority that we can lean on some distant relatives in South Africa to co-operate. They won’t mind losing touch with cross border traders…
Guy: (interrupts) Since this issue is even more important than climate change, shouldn’t we ask Gordon to make it a priority concern at the forthcoming EU/AU meeting?
Gordon: I’m not going. Can’t sit at the same table with Mugabe.
Chorus: Oh No! (they all know that Mugabe is the most important man in the world, especially Giorgio, recently elected to office and who insists on him being referred to as ‘Numero Uno’)

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