As far as she is concerned, those were happy years which continued after the countrys independence in 1964. Her world only fell apart when her mother died and she had to move to Lusaka to live with relatives. I was miserable because I felt like an intruder and dreamt of having my own family to which I would feel I genuinely belonged, she said. That dream was realised when she met her Zimbabwean husband-to-be in the Zambian capital. They were soon married and she had four children in quick succession. By the time the young family returned to her husbands homeland after independence, Maria had five children.
Life was good, although like any woman married to a foreigner, I faced some challenges in trying to adapt to a new environment and customs. Maria, aged 70, is at the age when she should be putting her feet up and taking things easy. But she finds it hardest to cope with the demands and realities of life as a grandmother. Things changed six years ago when her husband died. Her married daughter took her in and Maria was happy to spend more time with her three grandchildren.
An unsung heroine
She enjoyed looking after them while their parents were at work, but never expected to do it on a fulltime basis. At the height of the economic crisis two years ago however, her daughter joined the thousands of Zimbabweans who left for the Diaspora as economic refugees. She had no choice but to find a job in another country so as to ensure the economic survival of her young family. That was the beginning of my dilemmas, she said. Her son-in-law did not have and specialised skills and he contributed to the family coffers by doing odd jobs. As a result he did not keep regular hours and Maria often had to get up late at night to serve him food.
She has also had to play the role of disciplinarian to the children and she finds this hard.
All I want is to spoil them but I know if I do that I would be letting them and my daughter down. This situation has robbed me of my proper place. I am only human and inwardly I am raging because I suspect he has been with other women. I have no right to ask him where he has been. It has generally been accepted that because of the many young children orphaned by the AIDS pandemic, grandparents now carry the burden of caring for them. They are among Zimbabwes unsung heroes and heroines. But Marias case shows there is another group of grandparents who have been thrust into the same role because of the economic crisis in the country.