Marriage fulfils basic needs

A few weeks ago a Harare group asked Virginia and I to come and speak to them on the topic, The Purpose of Marriage. We were rather baffled by this topic since we had never been asked to speak on it before. We later realized that the group wanted us to speak on the basic needs that we all have, and which we seek to have fulfilled by getting married.

There are numerous and varied reasons for getting married. Some are important to some people, while others may be less important to others. In this contribution we wish to cover a few of these basic needs indicating briefly how getting married goes a long way to fulfilling them.

There are people who may argue that we get married because we want to have children so that our families may grow. The truth of the matter is that marriage is not solely for procreation. That is why there are numerous couples that have no children but still love each other deeply. True, some families have broken down when they have failed to have children and this is unfortunate. The garden concept of marriage is not consistent with Gods plan for marriage.

The first basic need is that of love. People get married because they need the love of the one they get married to. This is a special kind of love that we cannot get from our mothers, fathers or sisters and brothers. This love results in us being able to enjoy sexual relations with our spouses, as well as being able to procreate. We are therefore able to be blessed with children as our God chooses to bless us.

Respect is the second basic need that we get married for. Both men and women desire to be respected by their spouses. It is fiction to say that only men desire this basic need while women care less for it. The truth of the matter is that both men and women feel loved when their spouses respect them. Respect for your spouse indicates that you value them above all other people around you.

Perhaps, the third basic need is wholeness; that is the feeling of completeness in our being. We often say the image of God is so big that it can only be contained by a man and a woman joined together in holy matrimony. The love of God is reflected in the woman while the justice of God is reflected in the man. The two need each other in order to effectively contain Gods image. We have sometimes heard some single people expressing that they feel incomplete and needy. Thank God that through His grace such people are also equally fulfilled through their service to the Lord. Security is the fourth basic need that we all have and that gets fulfilled through getting married.

In this sense the term security denotes the feeling of being safe and secure knowing that you are not alone but you are with someone who can take care of your interests and needs. Such elements of marriage as the provision of food shelter and other material essentials take second precedence to the security that we feel just knowing that you are in partnership with someone who loves you and will do everything to protect you from all forms of harm.

This explains why divorce is such a devastating and unsettling development. It makes both men and women very insecure and vulnerable to various forms of attacks, whether they are verbal or physical. Next Sunday we will focus on a further five basic needs that can be fulfilled through marriage. God bless your family in the name of Jesus.

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