What is it really they get there that their wives cant give? We are all women arent we? Are men just difficult to please or is it the married woman who loses touch of how to please his man before he is snatched by these home-breakers? Im really about to give up on love, my sister.
Pissed
Sister Sister
First, do not give up on love just because of one man who has not been able to appreciate you as a loving and caring wife.
But to answer your question, after an interesting debate I had with a few of my male friends on the subject and the little experience I have, the straight answer is: men arent that much difficult to please if, of course, one knows how to play this very simple and complicated game called love.
The first thing you and all sisters out there need to know is that pleasing a man does not only revolve around the bedroom. You need to address more than just his primary and basic needs. And while we are at, one hopes men do appreciate the efforts of their partner to keep the love fires burning and that they reciprocate in kind.
Because each man has different needs, expectations and desires, it goes without saying that it cannot be a one-size-fit-all affair. What pleases Mr A could the most offending thing to Mr B. And the solution, almost as always, is communication.
Get to know what it is that does it for your guy. There are many ways to do this. Observation is one or you could even talk to him in a relaxed, friendly and loving way about what he likes or dislikes. Some caution here: please do not interrogate your man about his preferences. In fact, other men prefer not to talk about such things. Such men prefer their woman learning and discovering them as the two go about the business of living.
And another word of advice: as you go about unpacking your man as it were, you will be surprised or even shocked by some of the things that he likes. Some of which might seem childish or stupid and if that happens, please remember to keep your thoughts to yourself. These guys do not particularly like their women telling them how stupid they are especially if this also happens to be true!
The profit in making the effort to try to figure out how your men likes his woman to handle him is that in most cases it has a contagion effect on the guy. The guy in many cases just finds himself trying to reciprocate the effort and in no time the two of you are on your way to marital bliss well, hopefully.
Meanwhile a few tips to consider and these also apply to men:
(i) Dont take your man for granted. Learn to appreciate the things that he does for you, even those you may consider very small things like when he washes the dishes after you have prepared a nice meal, keeps you company in the kitchen or spends some quality time with you when he could have just chosen going out drinking with his boys.
(ii) Learn to compromise. If you expect him to like Days of our Lives then be prepared to watch Formula One or football with him.
(iii)Try to limit arguments and quarrels, all couples do argue but it does not have to become a favourite hobby. Dont ask him for his opinion if you really dont need it; it pisses them off when you try to convince them to change their mind for yours.
(iv) Learn to accept your mans weaknesses, after all everyone; yourself included, has got some. You did not marry to change him. Of course some things he does may be a little bit annoying but remember that somewhere deep down your heart you love this man.
Gracey
Dear Gracey
Im a 19-year-old college student. Im deeply in love with a 15-year-old girl from my hood. I have declared my love to her several times but she wont love me back. All she says is I cant take care of her and she instead prefers older men. What do these older men offer her that I cant give?
Bradley T, Borrowdale.
Hey Lee
You love her, then woo her, and win her heart over. That is how the game of love indeed if it is true love that you have for this girl — is played in this civilized world.
If you cannot win heart, then tough luck because in love, as in everything in life, we do not always get our way!
But on a more serious note, at 19 years, you and the 15-year old object of your passions should really not be so much into these things. Now is the time to be focusing on your studies.
It is normal at your age to come across, from time to time, with some girl you will think is the one God meant for you. But believe me you, it is a passing thing. This 15-year old angel of yours is not the best you shall ever see.
There are many beautiful ladies today, they were many beautiful ladies yesterday and there will be many beautiful ladies tomorrow. So, let us focus on the books for now and we can worry about the beautiful ladies tomorrow.
Gracey
PS: I would be most grateful if you could pass on the message to our 15-year old angel to leave the older men alone and try to grow up first, read the books and learn some trade or skill.
Post published in: Opinions