Matters of the heart

grace_chirumanzuDear Gracey
Im a 25-year-old woman who has been married for a year now. My husband and I love each other so much.

My problem is my sisters in law who cannot seem to accept me as their brothers wife. They dont respect me and they want to control our marriage whenever they get an opportunity to. Sometimes I feel my husband fails to see how they are coming between us because of his love for them as his family. At times they pass comments that are so negative on me in the presence of relatives portraying me as a stingy and mean person. I have always avoided a confrontation with them for I will not stoop so low but Im afraid one of these days they will push me to the edge. I hate being unappreciated. What do I do? I dont want to mess up their family.


Lora dear

I admire you for respecting yourself enough not to be involved in such unnecessary clashes with your sisters-in-law. What you need to do is talk things through.

Get your husband to know what is going on around your marriage. Let him see how you think his sisters influence will affect your marriage. Strengthen communication and build trust between you and your husband so that he will be able to understand your concerns and better deal with his sisters.

As for you sisters in law, nothing you will do or say can change them if this has always been their character. Get to know your sisters in law and accept them the way they are. If you do that you will eventually see that nothing they will say will offend or upset you. Just hold your peace. They say actions speak louder than words. As long as you are being good to them, it will soon show to your relatives that you are not mean or stingy. Continue living in peace with your husband and see how blessed you will be.


My Sister

What does a man do when he marries a lazy woman who will not cook or wash for him? My wife sends the maid to do everything for me. It now seems the maid is now playing my wifes role outside the bedroom. I love my wife, I do love her but I dont want to be tempted to shift my eyes on the maid and end up cheating on her. How best can this be solved?

Mr Pissed

My Brother

The best way is to sit down with your wife and explain to her your expectations of the marriage so that she is aware of exactly what makes you happy. While you believe your wife should be doing everything for you, some men prefer the maid to help their wives out and others do not want their wives to do any house work at all. So, your wife may not even be aware that this set up is not pleasing you.

So there is no harm in telling her how you really feel when the maid cooks for you, serves you food and washes your laundry. Im sure she loves you enough not to lose you to the maid and she will be happy that you have opened up to her.

You didnt tell us what your wife spends the day doing, but assuming she is a career woman the reason for her not being able to do the household chores could be that she will be tired from doing her own work.

Please do not go for the maid because that will be cheating. It may be considered abuse if the maid does not like your advances. Talk to your wife and solve whatever problems you have.


Dear Gracey

I have this rash all over my face; I have had it for a long time. I am using hydrocortisone but it is not clearing. Please help, what do I do?


Dear One

I suggest that you see a medical doctor who can examine your problem and give you professional advice. However, what you are experiencing may be a skin allergy towards something you are eating, drinking, cream you are using or even the weather. You are fighting what you dont know, you need to identify the enemy and know how he can be fought. That is why it is so important that you consult your doctor first before he/she defines what your problem is and decides the best medication you can take.

You didnt say how old you are but at times pimples usually affect people during teens or adolescent. This is because after reaching puberty the skin of the person tries to adjust itself to various hormonal changes. Pimples also occur if one is usually involved in activities that expose them to dirt or a stressful life. So, its best you consult your doctor and find out what the cause is.


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