Matters of the Heart

My problem is that I have developed deep feelings for him. I know the feeling is mutual but the man seems hesitating to declare his love for me because he fears it may break our friendship if I say no. However, I am dying for him to propose. I am not sure whether I should take the first step of telling him how I truly feel about him. Do you think its such a big deal for a woman to propose love to a man?

Silently in Love

Dearest Silently in Love

While some people may think it is morally wrong for a woman to propose love to a man, I believe in freedom of expression. It is your right as long as it does not deprive or compromise the freedom of the next person or those around you.

You can always do it in a respectable way. Express your feelings without presenting yourself as lose or desperate. There is nothing wrong with this for we are now living in a modern world.

Gracey

Gracey

I am 21 year-old woman who has never had a boyfriend. Most of the people of my age are at university or working but I don’t go to work so my chances of interacting with men are very slim. I only meet guys at church but none of them are my type. I don’t go out anymore because parties are not my thing. I am very assertive and I think men tend to read me wrong. I am not interested in going out with married men. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Tariona

Hi Gracey.

I’m a girl aged 17 and I have never dated anyone before. The problem is that all the guys who have asked me out are not really my type. Most of them smoke mbanje (marijuana). But there is this guy who is always calling me. He seems so nice yet he is a stranger, I dont know him. What should l do? Please help.

Anonymous

Dear sisters

Staying at home and never interacting with people will limit your chances of meeting men to date or start a relationship with. However it appears the real problem for the two of you is not that there are no men in your lives. It seems that you are bored.

You need to be outgoing and socialise. When you start having fun with your girlfriends you will realise that being single is not a problem. At 17 or 21 you need to be having fun and that does not mean you need a man. But should the right man comes along let him not find you in a miserable state.

Dont rush to accept any man that comes your way. Take your time and go out with someone after you have honestly examined whether you are genuinely attracted to them. There is certainly nothing wrong in a women being self-confident and honest, some men like that.

Dating is all about knowing the other person better. It is no guarantee that a relationship follows. So there is nothing wrong in getting to know a stranger.

Gracey