Matters of the heart

I changed my dreams for her, I dressed the way she wanted me to and I just did everything she wished from a lover. She was seeing another man behind my back before dumping me. I honestly hate her and never want her back but my problem now is that my whole life seems to have come to a standstill. Im so hurt I cannot even eat, cannot even socialise with friends because my mind is always buried in a pool of worries and depression. Im no longer as hard-working as I was at my workplace and my boss is beginning to complain. I refuse to think that Im nothing without her but yet there is not so much evidence that I can live without her. My heart is in pieces. Please help me on how I can mend it?

Sad Prince

Dear Prince

Dealing with heartbreak is not easy. Learning that the one and only person you loved has been unfaithful and is leaving may be psychologically and mentally wrecking. But there are so many things you can do to overcome and fight heartbreak. You need to be strong willed. Try to move on and try not to hold on to old memories.

Fight off loneliness by hanging out with good friends who can make you laugh. The more you talk and socialise with other people the quicker you forget the past and move on. You can also take up a new hobby to keep yourself busy. Take one day at a time. Time does heal.

Gracey

Hie Gracey

I have been dating a man for three months now but two weeks ago he moved to South Africa where he was offered a nice job. My problem is that I do not believe in long distance relationships. Im feeling insecure and abandoned. Although I have no evidence that he is cheating on me, I sometimes suspect he is especially when he does not communicate regularly.

I was used to seeing him almost every day when he was here. When I ask him he tells me nothing has changed. This distance is killing me, do you believe in long distance relationships and do you think I can survive it?

Ropa

Hie Ropa

You will not survive the relationship as long as you do not believe in it and you are negative about it. A relationship which is not based on trust is not a healthy one.

If your partner was unfaithful, you would have noticed when he was still around. Avoid imagining things and enjoy the relationship. Do not create unnecessary stress for yourself. If he turns out to be unfaithful it will show. Do not have another relationship behind his back because you will lose the man you love.

I am not saying long distance relationships are easy. They just need hard work from both of you. Since he went to South Africa recently, he is probably trying to settle down in his new job. You need to be supportive and understanding.

Gracey