Matters of the heart

Dear Gracey

I am a 23 year old married woman. My husband and I love each other so much but his mother doesnt seem to like me. She has a soft spot for her other daughter-in-law, the wife of my husbands young brother. I have tried to be nice to her always but she wont appreciate anything unless it is my mainini who does it. I believe she deliberately does this to make me jealous. I dont want to hate her but Im afraid she is pushing me to the edge. How best can I t


Dear Patricia

Your mother in law could be over-praising her other daughter-in-law sub-consciously without knowing that she is hurting you. Since she does this in your presence, in my opinion, there will be no harm if you ask her why she does that.

But if her actions are intentional then there is certainly no need to tell her that she is hurting your feelings because she knows it and she is probably seeking a confrontation.

However, I suggest you concentrate on enjoying your marriage by loving your husband who cares and appreciates you. This is not to say you should not respect your mother in law. Just continue to do good to her and with time she will see that you are not a bad person. It will also strengthen your marriage because your husband will also admire and love you more for that.

Gracey

Hey Gracey

Im a girl aged 21 who has been dating a guy for two months now. We have been close and he is all that I dream of in a man. We are like a match made in heaven. But just last week I discovered that he is married. It broke my heart so much and I confronted him. He apologised and said he is having marital problems with his wife and they are currently on separation. Since the man is so much into me and I love him too, I know I can make him happy. My friends, however, accuse me of being a home-breaker. But I was not the reason behind their separation. I want to continue with my relationship because he is promising to marry me. Do you really think Im a home breaker? Its difficult to stop loving him.

Chelsea

Hie Chelsea

Since you were not the reason why this man separated with his wife you may not qualify to be called a home breaker. But your friends may be right in the sense that you are knowingly being a barrier to these two working out their marriage because separation is not divorce.

Married people go on separation for various reasons, one of them being the couples desire to give each other space to reflect on their differences and how best they can iron them out. Your man may say he is done with his wife but by dating you he is denying himself the time to think about how best to fix his marriage. By dating him, you are also making it impossible for him to reflect on his troubled marriage.

You must be careful that he may later realise he is still in love with his wife and return to her, leaving you with a broken heart. Marriages have challenges but most couples manage to work them out and reconcile.

My advice is you must stop dating this man until he has sorted out his marriage problems.

Feelings and reality are two different things. Do what is right even if your feelings tell you something else.

Gracey

Please send your Email to graceyvc@yahoo.com

Post published in: Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *