He wont pay upMy problem with my boyfriend is that he comes around when Im at the shop and persuades me to give him some stuff on credit promising to pay month-end when he gets his salary from his employer.
He used to be honest about paying me the money, but these days he just keeps saying I will give you each time I ask about it. He comes back asking for some more and I just end up giving him because of my love for him. How can I make him pay without him thinking that I dont care about him? – Snow White
Dear Snow White
I honestly dont think giving a man food stuffs on credit and letting him get away with it proves that you care about him. It only shows your weakness of failing to draw the line between business and your relationship. Im afraid at that rate he is going to make your parents broke as you watch him do that.
He has seen how hopelessly in love you are with him and he is taking advantage of that. You really dont want to end up thinking that he loves you because of the material things you are giving him for free. It seems you are afraid of losing him if you declare that you will no longer be giving him anything before he clears his debts. If this guy loves you he must be in a position to understand your position in all this and start promoting your parents business by paying everything for cash.
Learn to be honest with him about how you feel. Tell him you are no longer comfortable giving him things on credit; strictly make it cash from now on. No business can carry bad debtors. Dont get into trouble with your parents. If he leaves you for that, then take it as a good thing it means he has been honest with you that he needs you just for the food you give him.
In future learn to be strict in business and be ready to account for everything you sell when your parents need a report. That will not only keep you in good books with your folks but it will make you a good and reliable employee in future. Good Luck. – Gracey
He forgot Valentines Day
Dear Gracey
What happens when your man forgets it is Valentines Day and did not even call or send flowers or gifts? I was so hurt that my man didnt buy me anything on Valentines when all my friends at work received flowers. I was so embarrassed and I had to lie to my workmates that he was out of town. He is such a loving man, we love each other and I always tell my friends all about how sweet he is. But I just didnt understand why he ignored that special day. It was only I had given him a present and said Happy Valentines that he said Oh thanks same to you.
What is that really?
I thought there was something wrong with him but he said nothing is wrong, he still loves me the same way he did and he promised he will never stop. When I told him how disappointed I was for not receiving a gift or anything special, he said that I should not treat Valentines Day as if it was my birthday. I just hate to know that I may experience those disappointments in future. Does he really care about me? – Dolly
Dear Dolly
Im not the perfect person to answer that question. But I will be honest with what I think from everything that you have said. It seems to me, you set Valentines Day to be your mans day to prove to your workmates how sweet he is and you are disappointed that you had nothing to show off with – not that he didnt show his love through buying you gifts.
Well I know of a few women who behave like you did. Believe me some even go to the extent of buying themselves sweet presents and claim that they were from their boyfriends or husbands. You need to stop comparing your relationship with your friends. You need to stop sharing what you and your boyfriend do as a way of proving how sweet he is, as if you and your girls are in some sort of contest.
I dont know why your man chose not to buy you anything, but from that statement he told you it tells me that he does not recognise and value the day. There are lot of people like that and they are entitled to what they believe in. Some people tend to sarcastically ask Who is Valentine anyway? and others have despised being asked Will you be my Valentine? For instance I would prefer to be asked, Will you be my Gracey? Others believe that people should show each other some love every day, not just wait for one day.
So if he has been showing you love and care all the other days since you started dating and more importantly on your birthday, the day he believes to be more special than any other, you have no reason to be complaining. – Gracey
Feedback
Dear Gracey
Thank you for your column, I was happy to read your response to someone who had a problem of cracked heels. I share the same problem with her and ever since I read the tips you gave her two weeks ago I have tried treating my feet with the steps you advised and it is working well for me. Just that I tend to forget to wear some socks after applying glycerine but its still getting better. – Lee
Dear Gracey
Your column is very good; I enjoy reading it a lot. But I wish you guys did not censor what people email or call you about. Some things may not be proper to print but what happens to people suffering to those problems then. I just think as much as this is a family paper people need to respect there can be a way of presenting their deep personal problems in a nicer way. – Magnifier
Dear Gracey
Your column is very good for young people especially teenagers. As parents there are some things we are embarrassed to discuss with our children. So its nice for them to have a stranger they can talk to openly. Keep up the good work.
– Mrs. Mapfuma
Dear Gracey
I dont know if you still remember me but I sent you an email last year asking how I can lose weight. I weighed 92kg and after considering what you advised in your column with the help of a nutritionist and some gym classes I have managed to lose 12kg in six months. I now weigh 80kg and Im loving how good Im looking. – Rosey
* Please do share your experiences of how this column has helped you through the advice given to you or others.
Post published in: Uncategorized