For a young married man, the elder sister-in-law can be either a source of joy and information or a thorn in the flesh. She can be useful in advising the young man on how best to treat his wife, and on what she likes or dislikes. This information may not have been communicated to him by his wife for various reasons. But she can also be a difficult relative, a monster, if she adopts the attitude that the young man does not treat her baby sister well.
She can criticize almost everything the young man does in a manner that loudly says he is less than what her baby sister deserves in a husband. A good elder sister-in-law will be positive in her outlook and attitude towards her baby sisters husband. She will seek for opportunities to encourage him and shower him with praises for the good things he does. She will treat him with respect as her husband instead of belittling him at every turn.
The young man will be wise to treat his elder sister-in-law with great respect, almost the same respect that he accords his mother in-law. He will expect her to secretly remind him of his wifes birthday the day before, so that the young man does not get into trouble for forgetting her birthday. In some special cases, they young man can rely on his elder sister-in-law to help him pick a nice gift for his wife, something she knows her baby sister will appreciate.
That way the young man will score high marks with his sister every time. A young married man who shuns his elder sister-in-law runs the risk of being gossiped about by the two sisters whenever an opportunity presents itself. Yes, sisters often gossip about their husbands just as much as some brothers gossip about their wives.
For the young married man, the younger sister-in-law is often a source of fun and joy. In fact, she can be such a source of fun and joy that if the situation is not carefully handled it can become quite dangerous. He must relate with her in a clean manner, even though the two may often crack a few crude jokes.
One of the most dangerous developments in a marriage is when the husband spends more fun time with his young sister-in-law than with his wife. He may start to chase her around the house, grabbing at her buttocks and breasts. That is culturally expected but it is very dangerous. A good Christian man will not go that far in playing chiramu with his sister in-law. There are numerous cases where the married young man has ended up having full-fledged sex with his sister-in-law and even making her pregnant. The consequences for his marriage are often disastrous whichever way you look at it.
The young sister-in-law should always regard her brother-in-law as her sisters husband and not hers. She should always play with him within certain safe boundaries. She should not make herself vulnerable to serious the temptation of becoming intimate with her sisters husband. The man is married to her sister and not to her.
One of the best ways of keeping the relationship clean is to limit physical encounters at all costs. Another way is to persistently threaten to tell the mans wife about what he will have done to the young sister in-law. Yet, young sisters-in-law can be very good friends of married man as long as they keep away from that which is preserved for the married couple. Babamunini Francis vabva nepi?
Post published in: Opinions